


My Love Is On the High Seas

by Anath_Tsurugi



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Cultural Differences, Durincest, Exhibitionism, M/M, Miscarriage, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-15
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-08 14:06:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anath_Tsurugi/pseuds/Anath_Tsurugi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soon after the quest to retake Erebor begins, Kili is both horrified and ecstatic to discover he is with child. Kili has already suffered one miscarriage. How far will he go to be able to hold onto this child?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Arms Of Your Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I promised myself I wasn't gonna start posting this until I'd gotten a little further on Shield and Sword, but I guess I feel good after posting a new chapter. I just really wanted to see what my fellow fans thought of this little plot warg. The title was inspired by the Gaelic lullaby "Tha Mo Ghaol Air Àird A' Chuain", which if you haven't listened to, you should, cuz it's lovely, and it will feature in here.

No one was more surprised than Kili himself when he learned he was pregnant with Fili's child.

It was a fact of their culture that dwarves loved only once in their lives, and when Fili and Kili found that love in each other, no one had batted an eyelash. Even though they were accepted as a couple among their own people, they had never expected to be permitted to marry under dwarven law. They were of the line of Durin, and if it happened that their uncle could produce no heir of his own, it would fall to them to continue the line. One of them must father a child and it was unlikely they would be able to do so together. They were accepted as lovers…but never could be as husbands, for the chance was very slim either one of them would become pregnant. No male dwarf had borne a child since the fall of Erebor, so rare was the happy accident of blood that allowed a male to conceive.

However, when the young prince had gone to Oin, complaining of stomach pain, the older dwarf had examined him and consulted several ancient tomes before finally informing Kili that he would bear a child in the winter. Kili had first been shocked, then delirious with joy. He'd immediately run to his brother, who was on shift with Thorin in the forges, to tell him the good news. Fili had picked him up and spun him around the work area, nearly upending a stack of swords waiting to be worked on. Then, right there in the forge, in front of everyone, Fili had dropped to his knees before Kili.

"Kili…my brother, my love…I know I haven't the proper gifts for you yet, nor properly prepared a suit…but I had not dared to dream this day would ever come…and now you are to bear my child. Kili…in the sight of our forebears, I ask you…will you accept my hand in marriage?"

Feeling his eyes burn, as if he could burst into tears, Kili delivered a light punch to his brother's shoulder before bending down to kiss him.

"Brother…I would take you whether you were the heir of Durin or the lowliest peddler. Yes, I will accept." Then he also moved to his knees before his brother, pressing his lips to his ear to whisper to him, "I love you, you fool. It's my honor to marry you…and to bear your child."

Thorin had called an early end to the workday then and there and an impromptu celebration had broken out among the dwarves of Ered Luin, hailing the announcement that the line of Durin was to grow.

Kili was five months pregnant on the night of their wedding, and Thorin gave them as lavish a ceremony as he was able. The two princes exchanged rings of gold they'd forged for each other, and Fili gave to Kili a ruby ring of the house of Durin, an ancient treasure he'd been instructed to give to the one who would bear his heirs. Kili had always admired that ring, had fantasized about what it would look like on his finger…but had never dared to hope he might be the one to actually wear it.

It was a lovely ceremony, and the feasting and celebrating lasted well into the night, but Fili and Kili retired early in order to enjoy their first night as newlyweds. It wasn't until much later in the night, so late as too almost be early, that Kili woke in Fili's arms, his stomach on fire.

Fili had called for Oin, Thorin, and their mother in a panic, pleading with Oin to help Kili. While he and Dis set to work, Thorin had had to drag Fili from their chamber, in such a state was he.

A sickness had settled in the young prince's belly, and though Oin and Dis struggled to contain it, it was a losing battle. All the while, Kili lay in pain and on fire, praying…praying as he'd never prayed before.

_Please…Mahal…_ _**please!** _ _Please don't take my baby. Don't take Fili's baby away from me!_

The struggle was long, lasting well into the next night…and it was ultimately futile. Kili didn't need them to tell him; he already knew. He didn't even look up when Oin went to inform the others…couldn't bear to imagine the look of hope on his brother's face…

Indeed, Fili did feel a brief flickering of hope when Oin emerged from their chamber, but it was soon destroyed when the older dwarf shook his head, lowering it in grief.

"We could not prevent the miscarriage. He lost the child."

"Kili!" Fili called out, darting into the chamber once Thorin's grip on him had slackened.

Kili was lying on his side, staring listlessly at the far wall. Their mother had stripped the bed of bloody sheets and covered him with a clean blanket, but he didn't seem fully aware of what was happening around him.

"Kili?" Fili called softly as he sat down beside him on their bed. He knew better than to ask if his new husband was all right.

"Our child…is with Father," Kili whispered, unshed tears shining brightly in his dark eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"What are _you_ sorry for?" Fili asked as he lay down beside him, wrapping his arms around him. "You haven't done anything."

"I lost your child. I lost a royal heir. How can I ever be forgiven for this?"

"Kili, it…it happens. This isn't your fault. We are young yet…maybe even a little young to _be_ parents. We have years for children," he soothed him.

"But what if it happens again?" Kili asked him, fighting hard to keep his tears from falling. "What if I've trapped you in a fruitless marriage? Oh, Mahal, what have I done?!"

"Hush," Fili said softly, rocking him gently. "If it happens again…I'd be more worried about _you_. No dwarf's been known to survive a second miscarriage. Many don't even survive their first. Right now…I'm just thankful _you're_ all right. I couldn't…bear it…if you died just to give me a child. I _need_ you, Nadadith. You _cannot_ die."

"Maybe…maybe you should just…put me aside," Kili suggested, even though it broke his heart to say it.

Fili was shocked to even hear the suggestion. Separation was nearly unheard of among their people, but Fili had the right to ask for it if Kili proved unable to provide him with an heir.

"Don't say that," Fili said fiercely, turning his brother in his embrace. "Not ever. I waited too long to have you to give you up now. You are my husband, Kili, and you _will_ be my consort. Don't despair. Everything will be all right. We _will_ have other children."

"Maybe we will," Kili said, finally losing his battle against the tears, and burying his face in his husband's chest, "but they will not be the one we lost. I _loved_ him, Fili. I loved him…so much…and now he's _gone._ I _failed_ him…our son…"

This finally caused Fili to break down, as well. Long into the night, the newlyweds just held each other and cried, mourning the child they had never had the chance to know. It would be another year before the two brothers knew each other again, giving Kili the time he needed to heal…and another ten years before Fili's seed again took root in his body.

XxX

Kili gave a victorious shout as Fili kicked open the door to their quarters. Thorin's heir had his young husband slung over his shoulder. The two dwarves had been drinking heavily in honor of being allowed to join Thorin on his upcoming venture…the quest to take back Erebor.

Kili continued to sing nonsensically as Fili laid him out on their bed, chuckling all the while.

"Don't imagine Uncle would approve of his heirs getting so drunk," the blond dwarf said as he started to strip off his many layers of clothing. Kili offered up an appreciative wolf whistle as he watched.

"Well, it's kind of a big deal," Kili said in a singsong voice. "Erebor…my ears are bleeding over talk of the place."

"Oh? But I thought you _wanted_ to go and see the Lonely Mountain," Fili teased, starting to help Kili out of his own clothing.

"It could be Erebor or a ruddy elf outhouse for all I care. I just want to get out and see the world. I am…half-sick of shadows," he said, an odd look coming onto his face. "I want to leave Ered Luin."

"And I will follow you wherever you go," Fili said, leaning down to kiss him. For several minutes, Kili held him down, kissing him hungrily. When they finally separated, Kili was smirking up at him.

"Then we shall have to have ourselves a game of chase…all across Middle-Earth," he said, propping himself up on his elbows and leaning in close to whisper in Fili's ear, "Come and get me, Nadad."

At the feel of his brother's deliciously hot breath against his ear, the last of Fili's control shattered. He tore away the last of Kili's clothing and shoved him back down onto the mattress. He kissed him so hard, it almost seemed he meant to consume him.

"Hngh…yes…Nadad…" Kili groaned as he bucked up against his brother's hard body. "Fuck me…fuck me…so hard."

"Heheh, demanding tonight, aren't we," Fili said, trailing a nail down the inside of Kili's thigh. Kili growled at him, digging his fingers into his shoulders.

"I want you inside me. I want your _cock_ in me. I want every _drop_ of you…until there's nothing _left!_ " the younger dwarf snarled, pulling his brother back to his body. Kili only got like this very occasionally, but Fili would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it when he did. There would be no teasing tonight…just Kili's demanding, needy body, taken hard and fast.

Kili's body had been on fire ever since Fili had slung him over his shoulder to carry him from the great hall. He couldn't remember when he'd ached so fiercely for his brother's touch. His skin burned with _need_ and he felt his heart would burst if Fili didn't take him soon.

Abiding by his wishes, Fili was soon sliding into him, not taking too much time on preparation. Kili shuddered in pleasure at the burn that spread sensation up and down his spine…pooling in his belly…yes… _this_ was what he needed…to be filled…filled with his husband's essence. Hungry for more, he thrust his own hips up against Fili's, urging him deeper.

"Harder," he hissed in his brother's face, pressing a passionate kiss to the juncture of his jaw and neck. Fili cried out when he bit down on the tender flesh, causing him to increase his pace. Everything about Kili was driving him absolutely wild tonight.

"Ah…oh…Ki…Kili…Nada…dith…I'm…I'm going to-"

"Yes!" Kili cried out as their bodies rocked furiously together. "Come…come inside me…fill me…ah…need you…Mahal… _fuck me!_ "

"A- _ah!_ " Fili cried out, the tight coil in his stomach exploding into a wave of bliss as he buried himself deep inside his little brother. Kili held their bodies tightly together, making certain not a single drop of Fili's precious seed escaped. As Fili collapsed on top of him, Kili came between them, his own seed splattering against the older dwarf's stomach. Only then did the younger Durin's lust finally seem to spend itself.

Fili laughed quietly, breathing heavily as he ran his fingers through Kili's sweat-soaked hair. "By Mahal, you're a randy thing, baby brother."

"And you know you like it," Kili teased right back. "We won't be able to do this much once we're on the road, so we'd best get in all the wild, passionate sex we can before we need to leave."

"But it will be a few months yet before we depart," Fili said, throwing him a questioning look. Kili returned it with a knowing smirk.

"Exactly, so rest up, brother mine. I plan to keep you very busy these next few days. We _won't_ be seeing the outside of this chamber."

XxX

Kili was true to his word. He kept his brother _very_ busy. Every spare minute they had was spent pressed up against each other…and some even that _weren't_ spare minutes. Once, during a route planning session with Thorin, Balin, and Dwalin, Kili had felt the desire come upon him again. One glance at the older prince with those intensely burning dark eyes and Fili had been helpless. Kili had seized his collar and pulled him across the table for a deep, demanding kiss. The three older dwarves had just rolled their eyes as Fili pushed Kili down on the table.

"If it's not _too_ much trouble, we _are_ trying to use this," Thorin growled at his rutting nephews.

Barely paying their elders any mind, Fili lifted his husband from the table and carried him to another alcove off the main conference area, the sounds of their passion carrying back to them quite clearly.

The elder dwarves didn't think much of this. Public sex acts were actually quite common among dwarves and Fili and Kili were young, still in the first bloom of their union. To be so lustful at their age was normal, healthy, even. None of them, however, had ever been married, and as such had little experience with the libido of a pregnant dwarf. The only one to be suspicious was Dis. It had been long since she had spread her legs for Vili before a crowded room, but she remembered well the near-unquenchable lust that inflamed her body, the desperate need for her husband's touch that had ridden her senses during the first few months of both her pregnancies. This was the norm of a dwarven pregnancy…at least, for those who were in the direct line of fire…and as she recalled, Kili had behaved much the same way eleven years ago. To the others, it might just seem like the typical lust of youth, but…was it possible? Might it be that the secret longing of her youngest's heart had been granted once again…on the very eve he was to venture out into danger?

Dis said nothing, even as her suspicion grew. Even though her child never voiced his desire, she could see it in his eyes. He longed to leave the place where he'd been born…not just to see the world and to make his mark…but to leave the place where he'd known such sadness…to leave forever the halls where he'd lost his first child. Kili had learned well to mask his pain in the ensuing years, but Dis could still see it, as she knew her first born could. Even though Kili appeared to be a carefree dwarven princeling, he still carried with him the weight of the baby he had lost. It was ever behind his smiling, laughing dark eyes.

Many times, Dis considered talking to her sons about the matter, but kept putting it off, even unto the night they were to depart. After all…what if she was wrong…and kept Kili from the quest for nothing? It would break Kili's young heart…perhaps beyond what he could bear…to have the wish he'd so desperately longed for…only to discover it had only been his mother's suspicions all along. No, she couldn't do that to him. Besides, it hadn't even been any sort of accident that had taken the first child from him. It had been illness, nothing any of them could have controlled. If it was to be, it was to be…and if not…then no one need be the wiser of what she'd suspected.

So, as she was embracing her sons for the last time before they mounted their ponies, she gave Kili one last kiss on his brow, then pressed a hand to his stomach as she'd whispered to him, "Keep each other safe."

Kili looked at her oddly for a moment, but then seemed to shake it off before mounting his pony and riding off with his brother and husband, riding toward whatever fate lay before them.

XxX

Kili didn't think much on his mother's last goodbye, not with so many new things to see…and so many new places to fuck. Every night, whether they stayed in an inn or slept under the stars, the two young husbands found their way into each other's arms. Even on the night they finally arrived in Hobbiton, they found time for a quick lay in some field before venturing to the home of Gandalf's chosen burglar. It wasn't until about halfway through the impromptu dinner that Kili really began to think about his mother's words…her gesture and her last look.

"Since when do you eat radishes?" Fili asked him as he shoveled down several at once. "I thought you hated them."

"I do. I don't eat them," he mumbled through a mouthful, reaching for his ale to help down the normally detestable vegetable. "I just…was really craving them tonight. I saw them and I just couldn't help it," he said, reaching for a bowl of strawberries and inhaling several of those along with the radishes. Fili actually looked disgusted as he watched.

"And that…that tastes good, does it?"

Kili moaned in pleasure at this, drawing the attention of at least half the table. "It's _so_ good."

"Careful, Husband. They'll start to think it's better than I am," Fili teased. Kili smirked right back.

"Right now it just might be. You will have to prove otherwise to our new companions."

"Well, baby brother, if you insist…" Fili started, setting down his ale and disappearing under the table. Almost immediately, the other dwarves began to cheer raucously. Kili couldn't be sure, as he was a bit preoccupied with the feel of his brother undoing his belt and pushing aside his clothing, but the hobbit seemed to look utterly scandalized at the display that was going on right in his dining room.

Kili was already hard by the time Fili's hot, slick mouth closed over him. Determined to make his brother work for it, though, he continued to eat, even while Fili sucked on him.

"Come on, Fili lad, ye can do better," Dwalin jeered. "Yer husband's falling asleep up here."

Even as Fili drove him wild beneath the table, the younger prince continued to shovel food in his mouth, anything he could reach now…even competing with Bombur a little bit. It was the realization that he'd been eating an awful lot recently, combined with the way he couldn't quite stop his hips rocking up against Fili's mouth, that finally made him understand what his mother had been trying to convey to him.

Kili's eyes flew wide open just as a searing bolt of pleasure claimed his body and he cried out, a wordless sound of bliss as he spent himself inside his brother. His writhing jarred the table as the other dwarves cheered. Then Fili's head suddenly popped up from beneath the table, a line of thick, white fluid trailing from his mouth.

"Mm…much better than anything at this table. Want a taste?"

Kili nodded, still dazed from the orgasm and from his sudden revelation. He leaned down and pressed his lips to his brother's, tasting his own salty essence on them. Then, as Fili wiggled his way back into his own seat, Kili found his thoughts drifting far away from the party, his hands venturing to his flat belly. Was it possible…that his recent libido, his eating habits…that it meant…

_Could it…be?_

Kili played along for the rest of the evening, played the part of the happy-go-lucky princeling, but his heart wasn't really in it. Fili seemed to realize it, but he said nothing in the presence of the others. By turns, he was ecstatic and horrified. If it was true, then…then it meant he had another chance to bear Fili's child…but still…if true, it also meant he was taking the child into danger. What if he lost this one, too? He didn't think he could bear it. Would he even survive a second miscarriage? There were too many ifs.

_Calm down. Calm down. There's no use in panicking. You don't even_ _**know** _ _if you're pregnant. There's no sense in alarming anyone…no sense in stalling the quest any further._

He couldn't tell anyone, though. If it turned out he _was_ again with child, Thorin and Fili might force him to return home, or to wait here, and he was _not_ going back to Ered Luin under any circumstances. Certainly he would do just about anything to be able to have Fili's child, but right now, he was just too afraid to let himself believe it might happen. After all, he was a healthy, active, growing dwarf. Was it so unusual for him to eat a lot? And he was young and in love. Was it so strange to want to be with his husband? Nothing was certain, so he couldn't pin his frail hope on the slender possibility. He would say nothing to the others…nothing to Thorin…and especially not to Fili…not unless he knew for sure.

"Are you all right?" Fili asked him later in the night, after the others had gone to sleep. Bilbo had set them up in a room with Bifur and Bofur, all of them laid out on their bedrolls.

"Yes…I'm just tired," he said quietly, leaning into the warm embrace his brother offered. Fili chuckled softly, the gentle rumble of it moving through Kili's body.

"When will you learn you can't lie to me, Nadadith?"

"I wasn't lying; I just…I was thinking about _him_ tonight." More or less true. "I was thinking about all the little hobbit children we passed on the way here…all those babes, and I just…I couldn't help it."

"Shh," Fili soothed him, gently kissing his neck. "Don't think of that now. Tonight is a night for joy. Once we reach Erebor, we'll set all of that to rights."

"Yes," Kili said, silently praying that would be the case, that he and his mother were wrong in their suspicions. For a long while, he just lay in Fili's arms, soothed by the feel of his body against his…but then he began to feel the heat of desire pooling in his belly…felt himself go stiff in his trousers. He wanted Fili to take him, but not hard as they'd been doing the last few months. He wanted gentle…adoring and loving.

"Fili?" he called softly as he looked up at the other.

"Hmm?"

"Could…could you make love to me?"

Fili looked down at him for a moment before offering him a tender smile. "So much for being tired."

"It doesn't have to be anything rough, you randy orc. I just…I just want to feel you. Let me feel you," he pleaded quietly, beginning to undo the straps and ties of his husband's clothing.

Fili yielded to his wish easily enough, stripping Kili just as quickly and quietly as he did him. They ended up with Fili on his knees while Kili straddled his hips, riding him gently. All the while, their fingers tangled in hair and rubbed tenderly at heated flesh while they whispered words of love to each other. They went until neither had anymore to give, and they fell asleep like that, tangled up in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So…this at all interesting or should I just crawl back into my messed up little author's cave?


	2. Hush, Little Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the response seems to be pretty overwhelmingly that I remain out of the cave, so here's a little more for you.

As the weeks wore on, Kili grew to be more and more certain he was again with child. His voracious appetite only got worse, leading him to forage when he could, so as not to dip into the company's stores. He was just as hungry for Fili's touch as ever he had been. Whenever they couldn't get enough time for a proper lay, a quick hand job or a suck would have to do. Kili wished he wasn't so needy, for he could see it was starting to wear on his husband, but he just couldn't help what his body needed. In moments of hunger, he was taken over by pure instinct. Worst of all, though, was the undeniable fact that a swell was beginning to blossom from his tightly-muscled stomach. It wouldn't be long before Fili noticed…started to ask him about it.

Kili was hard-pressed to keep the others from noticing the change in him, especially Fili. He had to step twice as hard to keep up his usual playful attitude, even though the smile felt thin on his face and the laughter felt hollow in his chest…it was all to keep his own worry concealed.

One night, when they were camped near the edge of a cliff, Fili had taken to frightening their new burglar with tales of the orc packs that roamed the lowlands and Kili had joined in, more because he liked to see Fili smile than out of any actual sense of jest.

"They strike in the wee small hours when everyone's asleep. Quick and quiet, no screams…just lots of blood."

The secret chuckle he'd offered to Fili had felt forced, even to him, and Fili had seemed to see this, but before he could comment on it, Thorin had broken in on their little game.

"You think that's funny do you? You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?"

"We didn't mean anything by it," Kili responded, completely serious. The only thing he'd meant was for Fili to smile. He must have hidden it well, though, for his uncle didn't see it at all.

"No, you didn't. You know nothing of the world."

"Nothing?" Kili repeated, his tone quiet…pained…and Thorin didn't seem to hear it as he moved away from them. The younger prince sometimes wondered if Thorin even _remembered_ that he'd suffered a miscarriage. Knew nothing of the world? Perhaps that was so. Maybe he had _not_ suffered the loss of home and kin and dignity…but _Thorin_ had never suffered the anguish of losing a child…couldn't understand the agony of being unable to protect something you cherished so fiercely.

Fili understood, though, and even though he didn't get the chance to say anything before Balin began his storytelling, the look in his eyes said he knew what he was feeling, and his brother's hand on his knee was all the comfort he needed.

Even the comfort of Fili's presence, however, was gradually made less with time. More often, Kili would insist they remain mostly clothed whenever the need for his brother's touch came upon him.

When they'd been on the road nigh on two months' time and Thorin and Gandalf had had a bit of a tiff one evening, it had fallen to the two brothers to look after the ponies, which was usually an easy enough task that didn't require their complete attention. Was it any surprise, then, that Kili wound up leaning against a tree with Fili on his knees before him, pleasuring him with his mouth?

"Oh…hngh…Nadad… _yes_ …that's good… _so good_ ," the young dwarf groaned, tangling his fingers in his brother's mane of hair.

Fili hummed gently against him, sending an intense thread of hot sensation from his groin up through the rest of his body. It took only a few more well-timed sucks and Kili was coming into his brother's mouth, gasping quietly rather than allowing himself to cry out.

Fili looked ungodly pleased with himself as his husband slowly sank to his knees, breathing hard. Kili grinned faintly at him as he reached forward to stroke his cheek.

"It probably doesn't do…for a king's heir to enjoy giving head so much," he teased.

"Perhaps not…but there is only one dwarf I would kneel for anyway," he said, leaning in to press his lips against Kili's. Then, while he was distracted, Fili slipped a hand in to rest against his stomach. Immediately, Kili stiffened.

"You've put on a little weight, Nadadith. How is that possible…when the rest of us can barely get enough to eat?"

Kili knew his brother was just joking; he could see it in his eyes…but he couldn't bring himself to join in the jest. It was too close to the truth of the matter. His mouth went dry as he struggled for words.

"I…I…"

Thankfully, he was spared having to answer by the sound of a tree being uprooted and the two brothers were launched into the misadventure of the missing ponies and the trolls. Under normal circumstances Kili would have been eager to battle the bumbling creatures, but as it stood, he was none too keen to throw himself into danger. Moreover, he was ashamed to admit that as he was sending Bilbo into that same danger, all he could think about was getting that bowl of stew off of him, which he succeeded at, polishing off the offering like a wild boar. Then, as he and Fili watched the hobbit move forward, he eyed his brother's full bowl mournfully. And Fili relinquished his share without much thought, so intent was he on Bilbo.

"If you're hungry, you should eat," he said absently as he passed over his bowl. Kili ate quickly, allowing himself little room to feel guilt for eating his brother's food. The younger prince didn't see it, but his husband eyed him oddly for a moment. Before he could say anything, though, Bilbo was caught and Fili was off to fetch the rest of the company.

Kili waited as long as he could, but ultimately had to step in when it seemed the trolls might actually harm their little burglar. It was, after all, he himself who had thrust him into danger. He probably could have done a better job catching the poor halfling when his troll captor threw him at him, but he just didn't want to risk harm to the baby. For that same reason, it was not his best battle, but he didn't imagine it would have changed the fact they'd lost…pitifully.

Even though they were bound and about to be killed, Kili's first instinct was to protect the child. As the bodies of his companions were tossed carelessly about and jostled against him, he curled his legs carefully against his belly inside his sack, doing his best to protect the vulnerable area.

He was so caught up in his fear, he couldn't quite get his head around what Bilbo was trying to do, but all that really mattered in the end was that it worked…and the child was safe for about another hour.

It seemed they were on the run from the moment they ran into the trolls, escaping them only to run into the orc pack. Kili found himself firing arrows in nearly every direction whilst still keeping an eye on Fili, who was waiting for their enemy to come in closer, swords drawn.

_No. No! We are_ _**not** _ _going to die like this! Not_ _**now!** _

That was, of course, the moment Gandalf chose to pull yet another miracle out of his hat…the secret entrance to Rivendell. Even if it was among elves, Kili felt they could at least be safe for a little while…and it was after dinner in the elven hall that the prince finally revealed his secret to another living soul.

"Gandalf?" Kili asked, stopping the wizard before he could disappear. "I know there is important work to do, but…might I ask you about something?"

"Very well," Gandalf answered, waiting patiently as the young dwarf led him away from the others. When he judged they were far enough away, he turned to face the wizard, pulling aside his layers of clothing in order to reveal the growing bulge in his stomach. The old wizard smiled faintly. "Ah. I thought as much."

"Can you tell me…have you any idea…how long I've got?"

"Well…Radagast is better at this sort of thing, but at a guess," he began, placing his hands on Kili's belly, "I would place you in your fifth month."

"Only the fifth?" Kili repeated in disbelief. "I could almost swear it was the seventh. I wasn't this big at five months before."

"That would be because you were only pregnant with one child. Now you are with _twin_ children, my boy," Gandalf announced, his smile growing wider.

"T-twins?" Kili repeated, his face freezing in shock as he stumbled back several feet, unable to wrap his mind around it. Twins were very rare among dwarves. Was it really possible for _him_ to bear _twins?_

"Is…is this _safe?_ "

"Well, no, of course not. Heading into the wild expecting children? It's dangerous enough having to look out for just yourself. As you've already suffered one miscarriage, you would do better to remain behind," Gandalf advised.

"Do…do you really think so?"

"You don't need me to tell you so, Kili. I think you already know that. The others would not think less of you for it. They know how important it is to you, to be able to bear your brother's children."

"But if I were…to remain behind…Fili would insist on staying with me."

"That is most likely so, yes."

"I can't…do that to him. It's his _right_ to stand with Thorin when he takes back Erebor. I cannot hold him back."

"Even at the risk of your children? Your brother's heirs? The continuing fruit of the line of Durin? At the risk of your _own_ life?"

"Even so. I have no right to stand in his way…and if I cannot protect my children…what am I?"

"Surely you must realize…that if you do not survive…Fili will have no other. It could mean the end of your line."

"Then so be it," Kili said, turning away from him. "It will be enough…if the children should live."

"And again, save me from the stubbornness of dwarves," the wizard muttered. "Have you at least informed the father?"

"No."

"He has a right to know, Kili," Gandalf said sternly.

"Yes…he does," Kili said softly. "But you weren't there eleven years ago. You can't know what I felt. I can't take it…to raise his hope…only to have it dashed again. _I_ wouldn't survive it. The fifth month was when I miscarried before. I'm not… _ready_ to tell him!"

"You will not be able to conceal it for much longer," the wizard pointed out. "What will you do when your clothes no longer fit…when even the dimmest of your company can see it? What then?"

"That, master wizard, is a bridge I will cross when I come to it."

XxX

Once Gandalf had gone to meet with Thorin and Elrond, Kili went back to join the other dwarves, taking a seat on a low couch and laying out his personal arsenal for inspection. He needed _something_ to take his mind off Gandalf's words. Unfortunately, Fili was none too keen to _let_ him forget.

"What was that all about?" his husband asked him, sitting at the end of the couch while the other dwarves lit cooking fires and horsed around.

"Just things," Kili answered calmly, examining a knife.

"What things?"

"Things that don't concern nosy blonds," he snipped playfully.

"What things could you possibly tell Gandalf you couldn't tell me? Hmm?"

Kili answered the jibe with a nasty grin. "You will have to pry the secret from my cold, dead hands first."

"Well, Nadadith…I can think of a few _other_ things that might be pried from you," he said, moving to his knees beside the couch.

"You wouldn't," Kili said, even though the look in his eyes said he knew perfectly well what his husband would do.

"You don't think so?" he challenged, maintaining eye contact as his fingers worked the familiar paths of Kili's clothing. It didn't take much to get him back into the rhythm, and it wasn't long at all before Fili's mouth was on him, making him writhe with pleasure.

This time, as their companions could actually see what Fili was doing, their cheering was even rowdier than it had been in Bag End.

"Come on!" Nori goaded. "Let's hear that little flower scream your name."

"Heheh…it won't be… _that_ easy…oh… _oh_ ," he groaned, digging his nails into the couch as his brother ran his teeth lightly along the underside of his length.

Quickly pushing aside his weapons, Fili moved up onto the couch, crouching between Kili's legs and bending low over him once more.

"Is it good?" he asked softly, letting his tongue flick out to trace tiny licks all along the length of him. Kili just moaned in response, nodding as he allowed his head to fall back against the armrest. Already, his breaches and undershirt were clinging to the thin layer of sweat breaking out all over his body. "By Mahal, I will do things to you that would make Durin himself blush."

"Mm…show me…Nadadel…" he groaned, twitching his hips up to meet his husband. He didn't fight against the heat building in his stomach this time, though. He had other thoughts tonight. Kili had to suppress a chuckle at Fili's look of disappointment when he came undone very quickly, lying sprawled along the couch, seemingly completely spent. The younger prince heard several of the other dwarves groan.

"How was it, Kili lad? Good?" Bofur asked him, his voice thick and heady with an undeniable excitement.

"Good," Kili moaned, displaying himself rather openly for the others. " _So_ good."

"Maybe a little _too_ good," Fili whispered to him as he covered his body with his own, kissing his ear rather heatedly. "You don't let it go that easy unless you're planning something. What have I done to make you tease me so?"

"Nothing," Kili answered honestly, returning the hot press of his brother's mouth with several sloppy kisses along his exposed throat. "I just thought I might return the favor tonight. You've barely been able to have me at all since we started. I want you to fuck me… _hard_ ," he whispered, his breath hot against Fili's ear. He felt his body begin to respond again when his love shivered against him, excited by his words.

"Here?" Fili asked him quietly. "In front of all of them?"

"Yes," Kili whispered back, the ungovernable lust taking hold of him strong as ever. "I want them all to see…that I am yours. They've only…ah…seen you on your knees. _You_ are the heir. You should… _claim_ what is rightfully yours."

Fili groaned aloud at his brother's words. In truth, it _did_ feel like it had been long since he had truly taken Kili. To be able to do so now, with the rapt attention of this audience, was just too enticing a promise…and if his earlier thoughts of Kili's strange behavior were driven completely from his mind as a result, well…he realized it not a wit.

Yes, Kili had been hoping to distract his brother, but he had other reasons, as well. If Gandalf was right and he really was in his fifth month, then this glorious heat would not last much longer. Once into the third trimester, the insatiable lust would evaporate, and he didn't want Fili to be left hanging…to be unable to take his pleasure of his body after he had given him so much during his moments of heat. So, while the others watched in hungry silence, Kili submitted himself to his husband, body once again throbbing with need as Fili stripped them both down, until nothing but their undershirts remained…the one last line of defense the younger would not relinquish.

The cheering and wolf whistles had ground to a tangible halt as Fili prepared him. They all knew what they were witnessing was more than just a simple blowjob now. It wasn't just a display anymore. They were being allowed to witness the intimacy between their king's heirs, and it was a great show of trust among all of them, to be a part of this.

Kili whimpered softly as Fili penetrated him. They had shifted positions so that Fili was lying on the couch and Kili was balanced above him. Even though the brunette's position was one of more control, he let Fili guide his movements from below. He could never quite explain what, but there was something Fili preferred about this position.

Even though Kili had asked for hard, they were not particularly loud. Neither was interested in being overheard by nosy elves. This moment was only for their own kind…they and themselves. The only sounds that came as they rocked furiously together were harsh pants and sharp gasps of pleasure. After a time, they became so lost in each other, they barely heard the reactions of their companions…except for one point near the end when they heard a distinctly un-dwarf squeak. The lovers glanced out of the corner of their eyes to see that Thorin, Balin, and Bilbo had returned from their meeting. Thorin and Balin both looked approving at the gathering, but Bilbo just looked shocked.

Both brothers took a moment to grin lazily at the hobbit. They both knew their uncle well enough to know he had an interest in the little burglar, despite earlier misgivings. If Thorin's current expression was anything to go by, he would have loved a display just like this, but Bilbo's expression was more conflicted. Bilbo they didn't know as well, of course, but if they knew anything about lust at all, they could see he was also interested…but such open displays were clearly not his way. Well…if the halfling was going to take interest in a dwarf lord, he may as well understand now what he was getting into.

Focusing back on his brother, Kili readied himself for the climax. He lowered himself over Fili's body, hips rolling furiously against every thrust his brother made. Leaning in close and pressing his lips against the pulse point in his neck, he whispered words only for him.

"Nadad…Nadadel… _azyungal_ …hn…"

"Oh…Nadadith…hngh…Mahal… _ah!_ "

With one final strike, they were both coming, spilling in and on each other. Involuntarily, Kili's body went ramrod straight over Fili's and he gave a wordless cry of pleasure as he was filled with his brother. Slowly coming down from the high, his eyes were greeted by the sight of Fili ravished…his shirt stained with his release, body trembling and coated with sweat, breath coming in sharp bursts, and eyes blown wide with satiation and love.

"I love you," Fili said softly, hands trailing from Kili's hips up to his stomach, wandering along the less than flat surface. Kili had to fight to keep himself from stiffening in fear. He saw his brother's expression go strange for a minute, but before the dots could begin to connect in his head, Kili bent over him once again, pressing his lips to his.

"I love you, too, you randy orc. Worth waiting for?" he asked once they'd separated.

"Completely, though you're one to talk about randy. Sure you haven't got another one in you?" he teased, his suspicious thought slipping away like water.

"Positive. You've had all of me, Husband."

"Well, now that's all done, I suggest you all take some sleep. We start before first light," Thorin announced.

As the others all bedded down for the night, Fili and Kili curled up together, both still a little sticky and sweaty, but enjoying the feel of it, just the same. It was paradise to the young couple, to fall asleep saturated in the scent and feel of each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations…ah, who am I kidding? You know those words, you Durin-loving fools. Continuing to please, I hope.


	3. Protect My Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here. Have some fluff/angst.

The company had been trekking through the foothills of the Misty Mountains for several days when Bilbo finally approached Fili. They had stopped for a midday rest and meal, and it was one of those rare moments when Fili and Kili were not together. Kili had slipped away for some reason or other and when Fili had finished his small portion of stew, Bilbo sidled up to him.

"So," Fili began as he pulled out his pipe, not giving the hobbit the time to awkwardly attempt to begin a casual conversation, "I take it you're curious about a few things."

"Well, I…I keep asking the others…"

"About what?" Fili pressed languidly when Bilbo continued to flounder like a dying fish.

"About you and Kili. I thought you were brothers, but then I hear you call each other husband and…and the _things_ you do…"

"You mean our perfectly legitimate displays of love for each other," the dwarf antagonized the hobbit further.

"Well…yes…" Bilbo stammered, his ears going red, "only…when I ask the others about it…they say I should ask the two of you."

"As well you should," the older prince said, blowing a ring of smoke.

"It…it isn't…indecent…to inquire?"

"Not if you don't understand. Dwarves are not hobbits and hobbits are not dwarves. It isn't idiocy not to understand something. Idiocy is when you don't understand and pretend that you do. Men and elves tend to judge us…but you at least have the decency to attempt to understand."

"So you'll…explain it to me?"

"Yes," Fili said softly, chuckling at Bilbo's expression. "Are you familiar with the concept of a dwarven soul bond?"

"Somewhat…I suppose I always imagined it was just a story."

"It isn't…not for us. For us, it's a fact. There is one other being in all the world each one of us is made for…the other half of our soul. The legend claims that initially each pair is created as one soul, but split into two to be born into the world. You earn the bond in the quest to find your other half."

"How did…you and Kili earn yours, then?"

"Our trial has been to endure the scorn of those who do not understand. Ours isn't a situation that occurs often, so even a few of our own people…" Fili trailed off, shaking himself all over to dispel some chill. "It was not a choice I made…to love him…to cleave to him. It was something I _knew_ …from the moment I first laid eyes on him lying in my mother's arms. Kili…my baby brother…was mine…mine and no other's."

Bilbo offered the blond dwarf a weak smile. "Well…it must be nice…to just know a thing like that. Would certainly eliminate a lot of guesswork. And the ah…ah…"

"The having sex on the table?" Fili supplied with a wicked grin. "That is also the dwarven way. We find it strange that the rest of you are so shy about showing your love for your partners. We love one another; why should we not celebrate it openly?"

"Well…put like that…I suppose I can see the logic in it," Bilbo said, even though he still blushed violently. Clearly, the idea would take some getting used to. "Though…you two are Thorin's heirs, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Isn't…producing heirs of your own going to be a bit of a challenge…or is there something about dwarf gender I don't know?"

"Something like the latter. Kili is…rare among our kind. He's blessed with a sort of…dual anatomy. Women are rare among us, so every once in a while, one like Kili is born. Outwardly, he is male; inside is a different story. I don't pretend to understand all of it myself; I'm not a healer. I only know that my brother can conceive and bear children."

" _How_ do you know that?"

At this, a disquiet look masked the young dwarf's features. His eyes sought out his brother, sitting by himself, before he answered, "I know this…because Kili has already been pregnant once."

Bilbo's eyes widened. "Then…then you two…"

"He miscarried. We lost the child," Fili explained, his eyes infinitely sad as he spoke. Even so, he knew the sorrow he felt could never match what Kili had suffered.

"Oh…oh, dear, I'm so sorry. My deepest condolences."

"Thank you."

"How…how long has it been…since it happened?"

"Eleven years."

"And…have you tried since then?"

"What? The public fucking wasn't enough of a good old-fashioned try for you?" Fili ribbed his shorter companion, chuckling half-heartedly.

"What? You might have been using some form of protection for all I knew."

"Heheh, no. We've pretty much been trying by default for the last ten years. Kili…he's been asking me to put him aside if he can't conceive by the time he's a hundred."

"And…would you?"

"No," Fili said fiercely, taking one last inhale from his pipe. "I would never…even if it would mean the end of our line. I will _not_ give Kili up. Besides…he did it before; he'll be able to do it again. I _know_ he will."

"Best of luck to you both, then," Bilbo said.

Fili nodded his thanks, his gaze moving back to Kili as Bilbo moved back toward the rest of the company. His brother was sitting on a rocky hillock, legs dangling over the side as he stared up at the rising mountain range. He couldn't tell, because Kili sat facing away from him, but he might have had a hand resting on his stomach.

Fili had been wondering recently…wondering if there was something his husband wasn't telling him…which he wouldn't entirely blame him for, given their current circumstances, but still…why did Kili feel he couldn't talk to him?

Kili was sitting away from the others, his meal completely forgotten, because he had felt the first kicks.

They weren't much…just tiny fluttery movements against his insides…but it was the first true proof he'd had that he was really carrying new life again, and he was overcome.

He felt certain it was only one that was moving, so he still worried for the other baby, but he was just happy there was movement at all at this point. His first child had been much more active during the fifth month…but he had lost that child. Perhaps _this_ was more normal? Whatever the case might have been, his worry over the mountains rising above and before them was increasing with every minute.

"Don't fear, my little ones," he said softly, patting a hand against his belly. "Nothing will harm you while I have you. Your papa's got you."

XxX

The possibility that Fili might die had never really occurred to Kili. The reality of his own demise was ever at the back of his mind, but Fili…he was strong and smart…Fili could not be taken. In his mind, nothing was stronger than his beautiful husband. As such, when the mountain trail split between them in the middle of the thunder battle and Fili was pulled away from him, Kili was too shocked to even move. This couldn't be happening. Fili wasn't in danger. It just wasn't possible.

Dori had to spur him into action to escape their own group's predicament. The situation wasn't really any better, though. Fili was still in danger…and when the stone giant was smashed against the side of the peak, the sound of Kili's screams in his own ears seemed even louder than the roar of the wind.

The moment Fili disappeared from sight, Kili felt his belly gripped with a monstrous pain. Horror shot through his body as he collapsed to his knees, unable to stop screaming. He barely registered his uncle screaming his brother's name, so awful was the pain in his stomach.

_No. No! Please! I_ _**can't** _ _lose them_ _**all!** _ _Mahal, have mercy!_

It was all Kili could do to drag himself forward on hands and knees. When he finally reached the depression in the cliff face, only to find the others scrambling into a cave and his brother standing from helping Bombur to his feet, could he really be expected to help it when he burst into tears?

Fili came to him immediately, crouching in front of him on the precarious ledge while the rain poured down on them, mingling with Kili's tears.

"Shh, sh, sh, sh," Fili soothed as he pulled him into his arms. As his husband held him close, Kili realized that the pain in his belly had ceased. It hadn't been the fire of miscarriage consuming his body; it had been the second baby reacting to his fear, kicking harshly against his defenseless innards.

"Mahal…Mahal… _Fili!_ " he sobbed over and over again, clinging desperately to his brother.

"It's all right. It didn't happen. It's okay. I've got you. I'm here."

It felt like a long time to Kili that they knelt there in the rain, clinging to each other, but it wasn't much more than five minutes before Fili coaxed him to his feet.

"Come on. Let's get you out of this rain," he said gently, leading his still distraught brother into the cave. All around them, the others were bedding down for the night. The two of them set up their bedrolls right next to each other and cuddled close for warmth. Fili said nothing, just lay on his side and held Kili, stroking his hair as he watched him fall asleep. He said nothing…even though his suspicions had been confirmed. He had felt a kick against his stomach when he'd pulled his brother to him out there. Kili was with child again…and hadn't told him.

"What's wrong, Nadadith?" he whispered once he knew Kili was asleep, pressing a tender kiss to his brow. "Are you afraid?"

He knew he would have to talk to Kili, but now wasn't the time. He would wait until they were somewhere safer.

And of course, almost as if the cosmos meant to mock his thought of safety, Thorin shouted and the ground opened up beneath them.

Kili came awake in his arms with a shout, and Fili's first instinct was to grab hold of him. Before the first impact with the unforgiving tunnel surface, he pressed his brother's body tightly against his, doing everything in his limited power to protect the swell cradled between their bodies, using his own body as a shield to soften the impacts. When they finally landed in the goblins' basket trap, Fili caught only a brief glimpse of Kili's terrified face before they were pulled away from each other. Though they struggled against their captors, it wasn't long before they found themselves before the Great Goblin.

In the face of the hideous creature, Kili kept his face carefully blank, giving no indication that he had any more reason than any of the others to fear what might happen to them. There was a brief moment of reprieve when Thorin tried to intervene, but it was ultimately futile. The instruments of torture were brought up. He and Ori were shoved forward when the goblin king once again called to 'start with the youngest.'

" _NO!_ " Fili screamed, struggling against his captors. Kili put up his own struggle as the goblins strapped him onto a rack, but there was only so much he could do.

He could bear torture. Of course he could; he was no coward, but…the _babies_. What could he _do?_ How could he stop this from happening? His newfound fear was only reinforced by the sounds of Ori struggling not to cry as he, too, was strapped down.

"Mahal…Mahal, have mercy," he prayed quietly as one of the goblins cut through the back of his coat and tunic, exposing his back to the damp air.

"No! Stop!" he could hear Fili shouting. "Take me instead!"

"Oh, how precious. Such a noble dwarfling," the Great Goblin mocked. "Heheh, they say a hero must undergo trials. Let's see how much this one can bear. Let us see the little one bleed."

Kili was unprepared for the lash of a whip across his bare flesh and he couldn't stop the cry that came. It hurt…it hurt so much…but as long as they confined themselves to his back, maybe he could bear it. If he somehow let it slip…if he pled his pregnancy, it would only be worse. It would be slow and drawn out, but in the end, he would lose the babies. He _couldn't_ let that happen…not while there was still hope.

A mere nine lashes later, Kili was already hanging loose in his bonds, body racked with pain. He'd managed to contain his own cries after the first, but Fili was shouting enough for the both of them, begging for him. He couldn't see what they were doing to Ori, but he could hear the cries, and hear Dwalin struggling like a warg to get free, just as Fili was.

"Well, this is no fun," the goblin king's voice entered his head from somewhere far off. "Turn the pretty one around. We'll ugly up his front a little."

For a moment, Kili fell into a horrified shock. If they turned him…removed his clothing…the others would see…Fili would _know_ …but by then, it would no longer matter. It would be too late.

As one of the goblins unbound him and began to turn him on the rack, he kept still, biding his time. Then, just as they were about to tie him back down, he lashed out, shrieking like some tormented wraith. He put out the eyes of the goblin who held him, taking a dagger off him and slitting the throat of the next one. The one after that was gutted and Kili actually managed to break the neck of another before they pinned him back down, slamming him back against the rack and tying him down, wrenching his left arm horribly in the process. The stinging, bleeding welts on his back throbbed in protest and he cried out in pain.

"No! No, no, no!" he pleaded, unable to fight the tears pricking at his eyes. The Great Goblin only laughed.

"Let's see what's under all those layers."

"No…no…no…please…no… _please!_ " Kili sobbed, feeling his heart breaking all over again…as it had eleven years ago. He was prepared to throw himself on even _Smaug's_ mercy if it meant his children could live. Better that the goblins think he was a weakling…a coward.

"Such pathetic traveling companions, Nobody," the goblin king mocked Thorin. "Is the babe really so terrified?"

Thorin had nothing to say to this. His eyes were only for Kili at the moment…and Kili could see the wheels beginning to turn in his uncle's head. Thorin _knew_ him…knew he didn't behave like this…knew something must be wrong.

"Please…please…" Kili continued to beg. Just as the goblins were reaching to rip away what remained of his clothing, Fili gave a roar like a wild beast and broke free of his captors, racing to Kili and shoving the other goblins aside. Finally, being careful of his injured body, Fili pressed his own up against Kili's, using himself as a shield.

"The next one to touch him will have to go through _me_ ," he snarled in warning.

"Fili…Fili…" Kili whispered.

The Great Goblin continued to chuckle. "Well, little dwarf, if you insist…"

Fortunately, the goblins never got their chance to try and 'go through' Fili, as that was the exact moment an explosion of blinding white light tore through the cavernous space, flinging most of them off their feet. Everything exploded into chaos when they heard Gandalf's voice shouting at them to fight back.

Instantly, a knife was in Fili's hands and he was cutting his brother down from the rack.

"Are you all right?! Are you all right?!" he demanded over and over again as Kili collapsed into his arms.

"I'm fine. I'm okay," he insisted as the fighting began to rage around them.

"Can you stand? I'll carry you out if I have to."

"I can move…but I think my arm might be broken," he said, wincing as he tried to move the injured limb.

"Then I'll lead you out. I'll protect you," Fili promised him as he slipped out of his coat and gingerly placed it on his husband in order to protect his injured back.

Under any other circumstances, Kili would have been furious at the insinuation that he needed protecting, but now he allowed it, because he very much did. He appreciated everything his husband did to protect him throughout the many turns and tumbles they took to escape the mountain. Besides, he wasn't the only injured one. Dwalin carried Ori on his back as they ran, as his body was covered with several bad burns and his ankle appeared to be twisted.

Kili was ready to collapse by the time they'd escaped into the waning sunlight and met up with Bilbo…but out of the frying pan and into the fire, as Thorin and the wizard said.

Fili did help him this time, supporting him as they ran from the orcs in pursuit, and finally shoving him up into a tree when they could run no farther. So many times throughout the entire ordeal, the young dwarf felt absolutely certain they were going to die…but by some miracle, it didn't happen. Thorin stood to face down his old enemy…and when he fell, Bilbo rose up to defend him. It might have almost been a tender gesture were Kili not so fearful for his own family at the moment. He had barely managed to get himself back up onto a tree branch when their last little tree had started to go down.

He'd tried to join Dwalin and Fili when they'd leapt into the fray to help out their burglar, but he could do little more than back them up, given his injuries. He had no hope of voicing how relieved he was when the eagles made their timely appearance. He clung to his brother as tightly as he could, amazed that by some miracle he had not lost the babies during their ordeal. They were still with him somehow, and everyone had survived the night.

It wasn't until after they'd spotted the far off Lonely Mountain that Kili finally burnt out. He fell to his knees beside his brother and couldn't seem to make himself move a step further. Fili, of course, was only too happy to be able to carry him down the carrock, worried as he was for his injuries. He hefted his young husband into his arms; while the position was hard on Kili's tender back, it at least spared his injured arm…and protected the one thing the others didn't know about.

As they moved down the treacherous rock face and through the woodlands, toward whatever acquaintance Gandalf was leading them, Kili was surprised to hear Fili softly ask him, "Nadadith…why are you crying? Are you in terrible pain?"

Crying? Was he? Reaching up to touch his face, Kili found his fingers came away wet.

"I didn't…know I was," he mumbled; he'd been so caught up in his thoughts. This ordeal had been a wake up call for him. He couldn't continue on like this. He had nearly lost them both. He could no longer afford to risk their safety…not even for Fili. Something would have to be done. A plan was slowly forming in his mind, but he wasn't sure he had the strength of will to bring it off. As they drew closer and closer to the home of the skin changer, though, the young prince grew more and more convinced it was the only way.

Once the company had been granted refuge in Beorn's hall, Oin was finally able to properly treat Kili, Ori, and Thorin's injuries. Unfortunately, Kili couldn't avoid removing his ruined coat and shirt in order for the older dwarf to clean and treat his wounds.

"Lad!" Oin exclaimed when he beheld the naked swell of Kili's belly. "Ye're-"

"I know."

"How long have ye-"

"A few months."

"How far-"

"Gandalf said five months."

"But-"

"Twins," Kili finished, leaving Oin to stare at him with no small amount of shock. "Please…the others don't know. Don't tell them. Don't tell Fili. _Please._ "

After several more minutes of amazed silence, Oin finally asked him, "Why are ye keeping it secret, lad?"

"Because I'm afraid," he admitted, feeling tears prick at his eyes once again as he rested his right hand against his stomach. "Everyone was…so happy…eleven years ago. Fili was so happy… _I_ was happy…and then I lost him. I couldn't…bear it a second time…and neither could Fili. I'm afraid…so afraid," he hissed, squeezing his eyes shut and breathing heavily in an effort to keep the tears from falling. He couldn't let the others see him like this when he went back to them.

"Kili, lad," Oin began slowly, laying a hand on the young dwarf's good shoulder. "Ye cannot hide it forever. I'm amazed ye've hidden it _this_ long. Wouldn't it be better to have the others know? To be able to protect and care for ye as ye _need_ right now?"

"Maybe," Kili said, even though he had already made up his mind as to what his course was. "But right now…I'm just not ready."

Oin sighed. "All right. Let us at least get ye as healthy as possible," he said, going to work cleaning the wounds on Kili's back.

Thankfully, his arm wasn't actually broken, just badly sprained at the elbow, so Oin set it into a sling to keep it still. Kili didn't much see the difference. Whatever the injury actually was, he wouldn't be able to string his bow until it had healed. The only thing he was really grateful for was that Ori had been able to stitch up his tunic whilst he'd been in with Oin, meaning he could have his secret for that little while longer.

Once he was back with Fili, the two of them stuck together as if soldered at the hip. They stayed right by each other all throughout supper and late into the evening, even after the others had all gone to sleep…when Fili was surprised to hear Kili whisper in his ear, "I want you to bed me, Husband."

" _Now?_ " Fili hissed back, turning to look at his baby brother in shock. "But you…you're _hurt_ ," he argued.

Kili shook his head, his expression solemn in the fading light from the fire as he laid his head against Fili's shoulder. "I'm fine. Back in the mountains…I was just…so afraid that…I would lose you. Please…kiss me…put your hands on me…let me feel you with me."

"I'm right here," Fili soothed him, pressing several gentle kisses to his neck. "I'll always be right here."

"I know. I don't doubt you…I doubt _myself_ …because I am weak, and I need you too much. Please…just one more time…then I promise I won't ask you again until we take back Erebor…only let me have the wedding night we never had."

Fili looked at Kili oddly at this. There wedding night had been the night of the miscarriage, and any joy they'd had of it had been tainted by grief. Slowly, he reached out a hand to tangle it in his brother's dark locks. "Kili…what's wrong?"

"Nothing…nothing…" he lied, gripping the hand tangled in his hair. He knew Fili could tell he was lying. "I just want you. I want…to be one again…before we must go back into danger."

Fili was finally defeated by the longing and tender love he saw in his husband's eyes. Choosing to ignore the mingled sorrow that was also in them, he leaned forward and gave his brother a slow, gentle kiss. Tonight…they would have tonight to be together, and then in the morning, they would talk.

"All right," he whispered against Kili's lips before slowly laying back and pulling him to lie on top of him.

This time, their coupling was silent as the stars, the only sounds the gentle whisper of breath and the sinful slide of slicked skin as they moved together. The embers from the dying fire lit the shine of sweat on their bodies and the spark of love in their eyes. They were soon so lost in each other, it didn't matter Kili had left his tunic as a final barrier between them. They were of one flesh and one soul…and they knew that nothing in all the world could ever be more right. In this moment, they were together…and they were happy…even though Kili's heart was breaking and Fili's was full of self-doubt and uncertainty. Through their bond, they reached out to heal each other, even if only for a moment.

When they lay together afterwards, separated into two beings once more, but still close as the beating of their hearts, Kili wept. Fili didn't ask him what was wrong this time. He simply held him close as he cried.

"Fili…Fili, I love you," he whispered into his hair. "I love you so."

_I love you so much, it's breaking my heart…and I don't want to do what I know I must. My courage fails me, my love…my brother…my husband…the missing piece of my soul…_

… _father of my children._

"Nadadith…I love you…beyond words," Fili murmured to him. "You are he whom my _soul_ loves…and I will hold you…and _never_ let you go."

"Fili…Fili…Fili…" Kili whispered over and over again, as if he couldn't have enough of saying it.

They held onto each other all through the night, and Kili continued to weep softly long after Fili had fallen asleep, for he did not sleep himself…he could not. For indeed, when there was only the barest hint of dawn outside, Kili carefully disentangled himself from his brother, being careful not to wake him. Quietly, he dressed himself, leaving a message for his brother before leaning over him and pressing a feather-light kiss to his lips.

"Fili…I'm so sorry. I pray you can forgive me…but this is goodbye."


	4. Sailing On the Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your love. It feeds my sadistic muse.
> 
> Well, you all wanted to know where Kili was going…

Kili was just about to the main door when he was suddenly caught by a voice.

"And where do you think _you're_ going?"

Kili's head snapped in the direction of the voice…only to find his uncle emerging from a small side room, dressed in nothing but his skin.

"Uncle! I…I…" he squeaked, struggling for an explanation.

"Yes?"

After a bit more floundering, Kili finally gave up and pushed aside his clothing so that his uncle might see his growing belly. "I am with child."

"Are you?" the small voice of the burglar came from behind his uncle. Soon enough, Bilbo appeared from the alcove, Thorin's coat wrapped around his smaller body. "That's wonderful."

Kili smiled softly at the sight, but Thorin's somewhat harsh tone interrupted him before he could offer a congratulations of his own.

"Why didn't you say, boy? Why did you keep silent?"

"I wasn't sure at first," Kili began, looking to the floor in shame. "But then…once I knew…I was afraid to tell…because I was afraid of losing them."

"Them?" Thorin pressed, raising an eyebrow.

"Gandalf says it's twins," Kili said, a vague smile lighting his eyes as he allowed his good hand to rest against his stomach. "I'm at nearly six months now."

"And what exactly were you planning to do?"

"I'm leaving," Kili answered firmly, finally meeting his uncle's stern gaze.

"Leaving and going where? Do you really thing you'll find somewhere safe in the lands beyond this hall?"

"I've spoken to Gandalf. He was actually urging me to remain in Rivendell. I really should have, looking back on it," he said, catching his uncle's tiny shudder. "He knows of a safe place I can stay until they're born. He's already sent word ahead. After what happened with the goblins…I cannot take these babies into Mirkwood. It's just too dangerous. I can't lose them, Uncle. I _can't_ ," Kili said, his voice quiet, but his words desperate.

"No…of course not," Thorin capitulated. "Only where is this place that confounded wizard's sending you to?"

"It's about two days' journey from here," Gandalf said quietly, appearing from almost nowhere. "I intend to lead him a little ways before attending to some business of my own. Perhaps it's best, though, that you don't know the exact location. Kili will take the long way around Mirkwood and rejoin you when he is able."

Glancing between the two, Thorin gave his nephew yet another stern look. "From the way you two are attempting to sneak off during the small hours, I take it Fili knows nothing about your plans?"

After another long struggle for words, Kili was forced to look to the ground again and admit, "No."

"Why?"

"Mostly…because I'm afraid to raise his hopes again…but more importantly to you, if I were to tell him now…and still choose to remain behind, Fili would stay with me. You _know_ he would."

"That is true," Thorin said pensively.

"It is my husband's right…as your heir…to stand at your side when you reclaim Erebor. I will not rob him of that."

"But you would rob him of the chance to experience the birth of his firstborn?" Thorin pointed out. "That is his right, as well."

Kili swallowed hard. "Believe me, Uncle…you can't imagine how much I don't want to do this…to be separated from him…and to take them away from him without him even knowing…but I've thought long and hard about this…and this is the only way…the only way we might all of us come through this alive. If I lose Fili's children, I…I won't be able to face him."

"He would still love you, you know," Bilbo put in quietly. Kili glanced to him in surprise, blinking several times before the hobbit looked away.

"I know that," Kili said slowly, "but it was because of this we were allowed to marry in the first place. If I fail in this, well…I _cannot_ fail. I _must_ give my brother a child. Otherwise, I disgrace him. I'm unworthy of him."

"That doesn't matter to him."

"No…but it matters to me…and he knows that. Though… _you_ , Mister Baggins, should be quite grateful for what does not matter to a son of Durin."

"What do you mean?"

"Thorin is our king. It is his right…to have you in front of the others…but my uncle cares for you enough to understand this is not _your_ way."

Bilbo blushed violently at this and looked away, giving up arguing with the young prince. Thorin offered his nephew a small smile, glancing back to Bilbo as he spoke.

"I did not look to find love on this venture…but I knew there was no turning back the moment you opened that door, my little thief."

Both Kili and Bilbo shot looks at Thorin when he said this, realizing just what he was talking about. Bilbo was clearly in shock, and Kili was…more than a little surprised. It was…uncommon…to find one's soul mate in another race. But, he thought with a tiny grin, was it anymore unusual than finding it in your own brother?

"Well, Kili, the dawn is nearly upon us. Might I suggest we depart before the others awaken?" Gandalf said, turning to head to the door.

Nodding, Kili looked to his uncle one last time before wrapping his good arm around him and pulling him into a hug. Thorin stiffened only a moment before returning the embrace.

"I _will_ see you all again…and Mahal willing, I will be carrying Fili's children in my arms when I come to you. I'm sorry for abandoning you…when I swore myself to your company…but this-"

Thorin shook his head as he held his nephew close. "No, don't think on it for even a moment. _This_ is more important…to see the next heir born…and for yours and Fili's sakes. We will look to your coming from the gates of Erebor…and we shall have joy at your return and celebrating to welcome our new princes. May Mahal guide your footsteps and make blessed the workings of your hands," he said, giving the traditional farewell as he stood back from his nephew and laid his hands on his shoulders.

"And you," Kili returned, feeling tears sting at his eyes. "Uncle…please…tell him I love him. Don't let him forget. I'm sorry for hurting him."

"He knows, lad, but I _will_ tell him for you. Be safe," Thorin said at the last.

"You all, as well…and make sure nothing happens to my brother," Kili said before finally following Gandalf out into the fledgling dawn.

"Thorin?" Bilbo started. "Why was he wearing _Fili's_ coat?"

"Because the days are growing colder, halfling. I imagine he will need something to keep him warm…keep him comforted. Kili has never slept a night alone…not once since his birth. These next few months will be difficult for him to bear."

XxX

Fili knew something was wrong even before he opened his eyes. Kili's scent was still in his nose…but the weight and warmth of him in his arms was gone. Kili _never_ rose before he did. By no stretch of the imagination was he a morning dwarf. So why wasn't his brother beside him?

"Kili?" he called out in slight dismay as he sat up, looking around for his brother. Maybe…maybe he'd just gone to relieve himself?

The source of his brother's scent became immediately apparent once he'd opened his eyes. Someone had draped Kili's torn coat over his naked body, and the scent of him was still strong on it. Fili felt a chill steal over his heart as he ran his hands over the leather, feeling that chill solidify into ice when he saw the message Kili had left for him. A simple phrase in Khuzdul, burned into the leather over where the wearer's heart would be.

_Men lananubukhs menu._

_I love you._

It was a silly game they used to play when they were children…back before they'd been intimate. They would spell out the words with their fingers over each other's hearts…their own secret sign.

_My heart will always belong to you._

The final blow came when Fili found what Kili had tied to one of the straps: the ruby ring he'd given him on the night of their wedding…the sign that said Kili was his consort…that he would bear his children.

" _Uncle!_ " Fili shouted as he leapt to his feet, heading for the table, which had now been set for breakfast. Feeling panic begin to rise in his chest, he thrust the coat in front of his uncle's face. "Uncle, Kili is gone!"

"Yes, I know," Thorin said, remaining calm in the face of his nephew's anger. "He left early this morning."

"And you just…let him go?" Fili demanded, nearly overcome with shock.

"Kili is quite grown. I would say he is capable of taking care of himself."

"You don't understand, Thorin. Kili is with _child!_ " he thundered, too angered to even consider keeping the secret any longer. The other dwarves all gave various reactions of surprise and amazement, but Thorin's only response was to raise an eyebrow.

"You knew?"

"Of _course_ I knew! I've known since the thunder battle. I was going to speak to him today!"

"That is…unfortunate. When Kili left, he believed you did _not_ know."

"Why did he leave?! Where does he think he's _going?!_ " Fili continued to rage.

"Where, I couldn't say. Gandalf said he knew of a safe place for Kili to give birth when the time comes. As to why…Kili is doing what he believes to be right…for all of you."

"Then why didn't he tell _me?!_ Why didn't he at least _talk_ to me?!"

"Because he didn't want to force a choice on you. If he had told you the truth, and still elected to leave us, you would surely have gone with him, would you not?"

"Of _course_ I would have. These lands are _dangerous_ , and he pregnant. How does he expect to get by without someone to care for him?"

"That's exactly what he _didn't_ want. He felt you had some sort of right to stand by me when we reclaim our home, and he didn't want to take that away from you."

"I would have chosen to be with him. Doesn't he understand that?!"

"Of course he does, which is exactly why he didn't make you choose. That and he is fearful of letting you down again."

"And…and if he miscarries again? If he doesn't…survive?" Fili pressed, feeling horror grip at his heart. "We would never know it. He would die all alone…and all for nothing."

"Kili doesn't see it as nothing," Thorin said, his tone growing a little softer at seeing how this was eating away at his nephew. "He did this because it's the best chance he has. Our quest is dangerous and will only get _more_ dangerous as we go. Was it not best for him to seek safety for the birth of your children?"

"Well, he…wait. _Children?_ "

"Yes. Your brother is carrying twins."

"Mahal have mercy!" Fili cried out, burying his face in his hands. "One child is difficult enough, but _two?_ How will he survive? I can't allow this. I _won't_ let him do this alone!" he snarled, turning and starting to march toward the door.

"Are you going to ride into battle naked as the day you were born?" Thorin asked, reminding his nephew that he was, in fact, still naked. "And where will you go? They will be many hours away by now. _I_ don't even know where they've gone, and your foolish pride will have grown large indeed if you think you can beat the answer out of Gandalf when he returns. You have but one choice…to continue on…to reach the end and fight to make a safe home for your brother when he finally does return to you. You must have faith in him…that he is strong enough to endure this…and that he will bring you your sons when it is all over."

For a long while, Fili stood facing away from them, clutching Kili's coat in his hands. When he did speak again, he was still facing away.

"Uncle, he…he's _left_ me."

"What do you mean?"

"The ring I gave him when we were married…the treasure of our house…the ring set with rubies…he left it. He…he released me…from our bond," Fili explained, despair overtaking the anger that had filled his heart. "My husband's _left me!_ "

"That's nonsense, boy," Thorin growled at him. "Did he leave his wedding band?"

"What?"

"The ring of gold that _you_ forged for him. The one your wedding vow was made on. Did he leave that?"

"Well…no."

"Then he has not left you. He would never part with that ring. I expect he will reclaim the consort's ring when he feels he is worthy to do so. You only need to have a little faith, Nephew."

Fili laughed bitterly. "Tell me, Uncle…if our burglar were to just get up in the middle of the night and leave you…would you just 'have a little faith' then?"

The broken-hearted prince didn't wait around for an answer. He just stormed off into one of the alcoves, not wanting the others to witness the breakdown that had been coming ever since he'd felt Kili's absence.

Fili fell to his knees in the small storage space, burying his face in his brother's coat, even then, struggling not to cry as he breathed in the scent.

"Why did you do it?" he whispered harshly into the leather. "Why did you leave me?"

_I wanted to be with you through this. I wanted to take care of you and hold you and love you. I wanted to tell you how happy I am…how much I love our children. I wanted to be there when they were born. What if I never see you again?!_

He knew Thorin was right. He _couldn't_ go after Kili. He had no idea where he'd gone, and if Gandalf didn't want their trail to be followed, well, he didn't dare to hope that was a particularly difficult job for a wizard. At the very least, his love would be kept safe, wherever he was bound. But what if it happened again? What if he lost the babies? What if Kili didn't survive this time? What if Gandalf brought his sons to him…only to tell him Kili had died giving birth to them? He didn't think he could bear it.

And what if _he_ didn't survive? What if he died at some point during this impossible quest and Kili emerged from hiding with two healthy babies…only to learn there was nothing for him to come back to? He would be devastated. There were so many ways their fledgling family could be lost. It was nearly hopeless.

However, Fili slowly began to realize that Kili's way was truly the only way. If he had continued on with them, he would almost certainly have lost the children…and died himself, either from complications or from outright sorrow. Certainly, he would have preferred to be with his brother during this trying time, but he could understand Kili's thinking, just the same. His little brother had always lived in the shadow of previous consorts, that long line of dwarves who had borne the king-to-be…all the way back to Durin himself. This was the only way Kili felt he could uphold both their honor and still be able to bear his children. The only prayer he had of seeing his husband again…was waiting for him to come back to him.

_You had_ _**better** _ _come back alive, Kili…otherwise, I'll_ _**kill** _ _you!_

XxX

_Kili watches Fili studying from where he's hiding in their closet, munching quietly on a piece of toast and jam. Sometimes it amazes him his brother can sit still for so long. He can't do it…doesn't think he ever could. Fili promised him they'll go out and play just as soon as he's finished, but the five-year-old isn't sure how long he can wait._

_No one else is as fun as Fili. Kili loves his big brother more than anyone else in the whole world. They say it is because they are bound to each other. Kili doesn't quite understand what that means; he only knows that Fili is for him…for him and no one else…which is good, because he's a jealous little dwarfling and he doesn't like to share. He likes to think that this feeling…of home and belonging and warmth…of loving and being loved in return…is only for the two of them…that they will always be like this. Kili can't imagine life without his brother…without his brother's love for him. This feeling is like the taste of the warm butter and jam in his mouth right now: sweet, salty, and warm…everything all together, all at once. Nothing could be better…so he doesn't understand why some dwarves cringe and look like they've got a bad taste in their mouths when Mama and Uncle explain their bond to them. Clearly, there's something wrong with them…because nothing can be bad about the love he feels for Fili._

" _You know I can hear you chewing in there," Fili calls over his shoulder. "You're not as sneaky as you think you are."_

" _I'm boooored," Kili whines as he crawls out of the closet. "You said we could play today."_

" _Yeah, once I'm finished with my letter practice."_

" _But you've been practicin' for_ _ **hours!**_ _"_

" _Heheh, try minutes. Ten minutes at best, you nasty little goblin," Fili teases, laying aside his quill and tackling his baby brother, tickling him mercilessly._

" _Stop!_ _ **Stop!**_ _" Kili cries out, shrieking with laughter. When Fili finally relents, Kili sits up, looking petulant as he crosses his little arms over his chest. "Hmph! Maybe I won' give you the honey roll I saved for you."_

_At this, Fili bows low before his tiny brother. "Oh, mighty Kili, I shall tickle you no more. Have pity on a poor student whose stomach is growling."_

" _Better," Kili says, smiling as he pushes his brother back and crawls into his lap, pulling a slightly crushed roll out of his tunic. His smile only grows wider as he watches Fili bite into the treat, a look of bliss crossing his face as he chews._

" _Thank you, Ki. That was delicious. Certainly, the practice will go much faster now."_

" _Oh! Do you_ _ **hafta**_ _go back to practicin'? Can't we play_ _ **now?**_ _" Kili asks, stopping his brother from moving him out of his lap._

" _Well…what do you_ _ **want**_ _to play?" Fili asks him, unable to resist his baby brother's pleading._

" _I dunno. I just want you to be with_ _ **me**_ _…not those stupid scrolls."_

_Fili laughs at this. "Ki, you_ _**know** _ _I'd rather be with you, but I have to do this, too."_

" _I know, but-" Kili falls silent as an idea suddenly strikes him. He knows_ _ **exactly**_ _what game he wants to play. He's seen other dwarves do it, and he wants to try it with Fili, but he's never had a chance to try before. "I know what I wanna play."_

" _Do you? And what's that?"_

_Kili doesn't say anything. He just leans forward and plants his lips on Fili's._

_Fili starts, but he doesn't push him away. Kili finds that he likes this game…the gentle press of their lips together. Sneaking his tongue out for a tentative taste, he is delighted to find that his brother's lips taste of the honey roll he's just eaten. He wants to taste more, to feel more, but he also needs to breathe, so he pulls back._

_Both brothers blush as they gaze at each other. Already, Kili feels that something is different…not different in a bad way…just different, new…like something is waking from a long sleep._

" _Good game?" he asks, feeling a little nervous for reasons he can't quite explain. What if Fili didn't like it? His worry is soothed, though, when Fili nods, blushing a little deeper as he reaches up to touch his own lips._

" _Yeah…good game."_

" _Can…can we play again?" he asks shyly, taking one of Fili's hands in his._

" _Yeah…sure…we can play as much as you want," Fili says, seeming to regain control of himself as he raises Kili's hand to his lips and drops another gentle kiss on the back of it. Kili giggles, blushing a little more._

" _I love you, Fi," he says quietly, drawing their secret sign over his big brother's heart._

" _I love you, too, Nadadith," he whispers back, drawing the sign in return, which he seals with a kiss._

Kili awoke from the dream with a none too pleasant start. Sitting up quickly, he looked around for his brother.

"Fili?" he called anxiously, only to remember the decision he'd made two nights ago…and the day's worth of travel that now lay between him and his beloved brother. It figured, didn't it. The first time he'd ever truly been separated from Fili…and all he could do was dream about him.

He'd been remembering the first time they'd kissed…that wonderful press of lips that had tasted of fresh bread, jam, butter, and honey…heaven contained in a single moment…and he had so many of those…tiny moments of bliss and wonder…all of them centered on Fili. Briefly, he felt a pang of painful longing in his heart. He had never slept a night alone and it had been utterly miserable to wake cold and lonely. Oh, would he ever see his Fili again?

"I hope you haven't changed your mind, young Kili," Gandalf's voice suddenly interrupted his morose thoughts. "There is yet another day of walking to reach our destination."

"No," Kili said, his voice heavy as he took the piece of honeyed bread the wizard offered him. "My course is set."

The two companions ate their cold breakfast in silence before continuing on their way, venturing ever further to the south, the forest of Mirkwood just in their sights to the left. Finally, when the day was nearing its end, Gandalf came to a stop near the dark forest's edge, looking around as if expecting someone.

"Well, he should have been here to meet us, but I suppose the old boy can be a little absent-minded…especially with so much to worry on these days."

"Who is it, Gandalf? Who's coming to meet us?"

"Oh, you've met him before. My fellow wizard, Radagast."

"Ah," Kili began, easily remembering the dotty old wizard…and wondering if perhaps he might have foolishly placed the safety of his children in the wrong hands. "And I'll be safe with him, will I?"

"As safe as you will be anywhere so far to the east. As you've seen, he tends to prefer the company of animals, but I've known him to make exceptions for the young ones of the free peoples. He will help you."

Before Kili could say anything more, the old brown wizard suddenly came tottering out of the woods, a single large rabbit hopping at his side.

"Oh, Gandalf. It's dreadful! There's something terribly important I've forgotten to remember. What is it? What do you suppose it could be?"

"Now, Radagast, if you just hold still a minute, I'm sure it will come to you."

"It's just…something so important. It's awful. Who've I let down this time? Oh, dear."

Radagast twittered on for several minutes before suddenly stopping dead in his tracks and sniffing the air. Then he slowly turned to look at Kili.

"Oh. It's _you_ , isn't it. That's what I've forgotten."

"I…suppose," Kili said slowly, and before he could even protest, Radagast was kneeling in front of him, pressing an ear to his belly.

"Shh," Gandalf shushed him in an attempt to soothe his panic. "Just give him a moment."

"Mmhm…mmhm…yes, I see…oh, that's lovely…yes…yes…oh, no, certainly not…yes…that's true…oh, wonderful. Darling little things," Radagast mumbled, more to himself than anyone, nodding several times.

"I had guessed somewhere in the fifth month. What do you think?" Gandalf asked his brother wizard. Radagast looked up at him, remaining on his knees as he shook his head condescendingly.

"Hardly. Silly Olorin…to think you know these things. These babes are exactly six months, one week, two days, three hours, and…one minute old," the brown wizard rattled off. "Conceived around midnight on January the 10th…what is that phrase the men use? Position…at prayer?"

"How could you possibly know a thing like that?" Kili spluttered, going slightly red as he took a step back.

"I told you Radagast was better at this sort of thing," Gandalf said with a smirk.

"A boy child…and a girl child," Radagast announced, another loopy smile lighting his face.

"Boy… _and_ a girl?" Kili whispered, his right hand traveling to his stomach. First twins…now a baby girl? What more marvels might there be to behold? A son and a daughter _both?_ Fili would be so happy. It couldn't be more perfect…

…except that Fili wouldn't be able to see them born.

"Well, my boy, I believe I'll be leaving you in quite capable hands. Unfortunately, there are some things I must see to a little ways further south."

"What…what things?" Kili asked, snapping himself out of his melancholia.

"My own business, Master Kili."

"Oh, my, I wish I was going with you, old friend, but I suppose this dear parcel does need looking after. Ariel will accompany you, though, and she will bring me the news," Radagast said, patting the rabbit's head before sending it hopping to Gandalf's side.

"Ah, lovely, a fresh traveling companion. I will do my best to send her back in one piece," the wandering wizard said before continuing on his way.

"I'd like more than your best, Gandalf," Radagast called warningly after him before turning his attention back to Kili. "First things first, we shall have to get something warm and filling in your belly. Follow me," he said before turning to head back into the woods.

"So…you actually live _in Mirkwood?_ " Kili asked, following, albeit reluctantly.

"Quite so. Quite so…though it hasn't always been called that. Truly sad times, these…when lovely forests like the Greenwood can sicken so horribly. I'm not certain how much longer I'll be able to remain here…but that's no worry of yours. The babies will be born long before there's anything to worry on."

Kili certainly hoped so. He had left his companions in order to find _safety_ for his children…preferably _away_ from Mirkwood…but this wizard seemed to know what he was doing. Perhaps he _was_ in good hands. Either way, Kili prayed silently to Mahal that he hadn't just brought his children back into danger.


	5. His Singing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You readers are awesome! Love hearing from you. Only one note for this chapter, really. Remember that song I talked about? If you haven't listened to it, you should. It's beautiful. The song's finally going to make an appearance. Now, of course Gaidhlig isn't Khuzdul, but if you do know the song, let's just pretend it is.

The company remained in Beorn's hall longer than expected in order to give Ori's ankle more time to heal. The other members of the group all took the time to offer Fili their congratulations, but the prince was mostly sullen, worrying over his brother. When Gandalf returned to them, the blond dwarf was openly hostile toward him. The only thing that managed to placate the irate dwarf was that Ori had been able to use the time he'd been laid up to repair Kili's coat. Fili hardly ever took the coat off, at least marginally comforted by the scent of his brother. All through the long night of Mirkwood, that scent kept him reminded that wherever he was, at least Kili was safe. He was not trapped in this terrible place, facing danger and death every moment.

Fili didn't sleep very well, and knew he wouldn't until he had Kili back in his arms. He could hardly remember the time before he and Kili had shared a bed. Exhausted and drained as the young prince was these days, it was the thought of Kili that kept him going…the image he carried with him of his husband, safe and happy, holding twin babies in his arms. Whenever he felt lonely, longing for Kili's warmth, he was only too happy to remember that his brother was safe…not here, lost and starving to death.

_I_ _**will** _ _get out of here, Kili. I promise you. I_ _**will** _ _be there to hold our children when you come to me._

Even after being attacked and bitten by spiders…rescued from a gruesome death by their intrepid burglar…there was only one thought in his head…one thought that kept the light from going out altogether.

_Kili…at least you are safe. Had you been here, this hideous poison would surely have killed our babies…if they had not already been lost to starvation. Azyungal…dearer than breath…at least_ _**you** _ _are safe._

XxX

_Kili doesn't really remember when it started happening. He just knows that he wakes up some mornings and his cock has somehow gone up. At first, it seems to happen at random, but then he begins to associate it with dreams of Fili…of the moments when their tender kisses become heated…when Fili slips a hand under his tunic…the nights they lie in bed together, holding, kissing, and touching…those moments when they're taking baths together and Fili looks at him and he just loses his breath. One night, he even dreams that Fili has his head between his legs and instead of waking engorged, he wakes with the sheets a mess. Thankfully, Fili's already risen for the day and he's spared the shame of having to explain that he's wet the bed like a little dwarfling…except this isn't exactly like wetting the bed. It isn't water; it's…something else._

_He hides it from his brother for a short time…but he soon discovers how good it feels to touch himself…and as he mostly associates good things with Fili, he begins to fantasize. What would it feel like to have his brother touch that hot, hard thing between his legs? What would it be like…for Fili to make him feel those things?_

_It remains his secret until one night when they're in the baths together…bathing, teasing, playing, kissing, fooling around. Fili is sucking rather intently on the pulse point in his neck when he feels it begin to rise. Gasping, he tears himself away from Fili and hides his body beneath the water._

" _Kili, what…what's wrong?" Fili asks, looking confused and a little hurt. "Did…did_ _ **I**_ _do something?"_

" _No, it…it's me," Kili mumbles, feeling his face go impossibly red. "It's something…_ _ **I've**_ _done…I think."_

" _What have you done?"_

" _It…my…I don't know…it's getting hard," he finally admits._

" _Hard?" his brother asks, raising an eyebrow._

" _My…between my legs…my cock."_

" _Ohh," Fili starts, looking like he understands. "You mean_ _ **this**_ _, don't you," he says, slipping a hand between Kili's thighs and squeezing gently. Even that small touch is nearly enough to make him come undone. He reaches out to grab Fili's shoulders before he can fall over with the delicious shock of it all._

" _That's normal, Ki. Why would you be ashamed of that?"_

" _I…I thought it might be a little like…wetting the bed."_

" _But it feels_ _ **nice**_ _…doesn't it?" Fili asks him, pulling his body a bit closer._

" _Yes…feels good," he groans, already aching to be touched again. "_ _ **So**_ _good."_

_Fili laughs gently. "You should've come to me sooner. I would've told you about it."_

" _So…you mean…yours does this, too?" Kili asks, starting to feel a little better._

_Fili chuckles as he presses his lips to his ear. "Kili…you're so worried about your own, you haven't noticed. I'm hard already," he whispers, taking one of Kili's hands from his shoulder and guiding it down his body, below the water. Then he takes that hand and wraps it around his own length. Both brothers shudder at the contact and Kili rubs his fingers up and down the length of hot, engorged flesh._

" _What…what is this?" Kili asks, moaning as Fili ruts slightly against his hand. "What does it mean?"_

" _It mean's your body's changing. That you're ready…to make love," Fili groans, leaning in to kiss his neck again._

" _Make love?" Kili whispers back, amazed. He's heard it talked about, even seen other dwarves do it, but no one's every really explained the…mechanics to him. He had no_ _ **idea**_ _it would be like this._

" _Can…can I make you come?" he asks, feeling uncharacteristically shy as Fili groans against his neck._

" _Nngh…please. You've…no_ _ **idea**_ _…how much I want that."_

_So Kili goes on stroking and squeezing, glorying in the feeling of his brother twitching in his hands. The sounds Fili makes only serve to make his body ache even more. Mahal, how he's wanted this…to be like this with Fili._

_Suddenly, Fili goes completely rigid and a tiny cry escapes his throat as his head falls back. Kili briefly glimpses the look on his face and finds himself breathless. Then he feels a gentle pulsing against his palm. Raising his hand from the water, he sees traces of the same fluid that comes from his own body…now understanding that this is seed…semen. He grins, his playfulness returning to him as he leans in to kiss his brother._

_Still breathing heavily, Fili leans against him, whispering against his lips, "Can_ _**I** _ _, Kili? Can I make you feel good?"_

" _Yes," Kili whispers back, trembling in the embrace. "Yes…touch me…Fili…m-make me feel good."_

_Fili needs nothing more than this. He carries Kili to the side of the pool and hoists him up on the side, exposing his erection to the warm air._

" _Ki…can I kiss you?"_

_Feeling slightly confused, Kili nods. If Fili doesn't touch him soon, he's going to scream. The confusion is soon cleared, though, when Fili bends over him and closes his lips around the tip of him._

_Immediately, Kili's head falls back and his mouth lolls open as a loud cry escapes his throat. He can't keep quiet like his brother. He's lost all control of his body as threads of liquid pleasure course through his veins. He writhes helplessly under Fili, his older brother's head bobbing up and down over him._

_Kili collapses to his back, rutting up against his brother's mouth. Briefly glancing to his side when he hears a wolf whistle, he sees Dwalin with a few other warriors, drawn from the bathing alcove they'd been heading to by the noises he's making. Dwalin just smirks, shaking his head before hustling the other dwarves along._

_Then, suddenly, Kili feels his body go stiff. He screams his brother's name as he bursts in his mouth. Still writhing with bliss, he barely notices when Fili climbs up beside him…nor does he much notice the whistles from the next room._

" _Bit of a screamer, aren't you," Fili teases, running his fingers through Kili's wet hair._

" _Shut up," he pants, delivering a half-hearted punch to his thigh. He's lying, boneless and weak as a kitten, legs still dangling in the water, and he's never felt more sated in his life. "Durin's beard, that was…it was…"_

" _Beyond words?" Fili suggested, his grin softening._

_Kili looks up at him for several long minutes before answering, "Yes." Then he draws Fili down for another kiss. "Is that what it means…to make love?"_

" _That's part of it. I'm pretty sure there's even more than that."_

" _More?" Kili asks, his eyes widening._

" _That's what Dwalin told me…when it started happening to me."_

" _And when was that?"_

" _About three years ago."_

" _Three_ _ **years?**_ _You kept this from me for three_ _ **years?**_ _I've barely had three_ _ **months.**_ _"_

" _I know, but they all thought you were too young for it…and I agreed. Most bonds aren't made as young as ours was, so…a few things are different, I suppose."_

" _So we missed out on_ _ **three years**_ _of being able to do this…because you all thought I was too young?" Kili asks incredulously._

" _Even twenty-eight is a little young for it. We should…probably still take it slow."_

_Kili grins up at his brother. "When have we ever been known to do that?"_

_Fili's expression slowly shifts into something serious as he looks down at him. "We're going to_ _**this** _ _time. I won't do_ _**anything** _ _to harm you."_

Waking from his dreaming this time wasn't quite as unpleasant as it had been the last few weeks. For Kili, it was more unsettling than anything else…to remember Fili's insistence that no harm come to him.

_Where are you, Brother? I hope you've got through Mirkwood. I pray you're safe._

"Sleep well, Kili?" he heard Radagast asking from where he was puttering around the fireplace. The smell of oatmeal was bubbling up from the pot he was tending to.

"Well enough," Kili answered. It was something of a morning ritual between them. Radagast knew he didn't sleep well, but he continued to ask anyway, and really, how else could Kili answer?

"Well," Radagast began as he glanced back at him, "slept well or not, I would say you _dreamt_ well, by the state of you," he chuckled.

Easily feeling what the wizard was talking about, Kili slid a hand down into his trousers, feeling the shape of his morning wood. Having a small chuckle of his own, he worked quickly to get himself off. He could no longer see down between his legs due to the growing bulge of his stomach, but he could at least still reach to take care of himself. He was used to the awkwardness of men and elves who were first exposed to dwarven sexual habits, but Radagast had never cared one way or the other, which Kili liked about him.

The ramshackle and haphazard Rhosgobel had become his home over the past few months while his children continued to grow. He had tried to help Radagast around the house at first, but the old wizard had so little concept of an orderly household, it didn't really matter much. That plus the fact that Kili had been able to move around less and less as his belly swelled. The babies were due in only a few weeks' time and he was both anxious and excited for the time to come. He hadn't named them yet…fearing to until he was actually able to hold them in his arms, assured that he hadn't lost them. Nameless though they were, he already felt like he knew them.

Radagast had told him that the more active one was his daughter, while the quieter one was his son. He often found himself talking or singing to them when either he or they were agitated. Right now, he could feel the little girl rolling around, using his insides for sparring practice.

"Oh," he groaned as he sat up. "What's wrong today, little one? That can't be very much fun for your brother."

"I imagine she's just hungry," Radagast said with a smile as he brought Kili a bowl of the freshly made oatmeal, which the prince took without argument. "You'll all three be needing your strength."

Kili was just about ready to kill for a decent plate of bacon or a nice, juicy shank of beef. Radagast being who he was, of course, ate no meat, so the young parent-to-be had had to get used to a diet of grains, vegetables, and fruits. While Radagast knew how to whip up a very filling meal, Kili still missed the savory proteins of a proper dwarf diet. He only hoped all this green food eating wouldn't rub off on his children. He would be quite anxious to get them back among proper dwarvish company once they were born…back to their father. Sometimes he felt so guilty for leaving Fili, it almost made him want to throw up…and most nights, he missed him so badly, he could hardly breathe.

_Please…come quickly, my little ones. I miss your father terribly…and I want so badly for the three of you to know each other. Please…come quickly…come safe._

XxX

Normally, when Bilbo was wandering through the dungeons checking up on his imprisoned companions, it was mostly silent. Tonight was different, though. He was carrying wonderful news for all of the company. For many weeks, they had all thought Thorin dead after he was separated from them. Half the time, Bilbo wasn't even sure what kept him going, thinking he would never see Thorin again. Sometimes he even thought of sneaking out of the fortress when the elves left to go and look for him, but the others always managed to talk him out of it. They had barely survived their first brush with Mirkwood. What made him think he could handle it alone?

However, after his many weeks of wandering Thranduil's fortress, he finally found where the elf king was keeping the dwarf king. Their own reunion had been relieved and joyful…and maybe a little tearful, whether or not Thorin wanted to admit it. Now he'd be able to tell the others their king wasn't lost. Only…as he moved into the area of the dungeons where the others were kept…he could swear he heard singing.

Following the sounds of the tune, Bilbo was led to Fili's cell. The young dwarf was sitting slumped against the wall of the tiny cell, wrapped in his brother's coat and softly singing something in the dwarvish language…perhaps a lullaby…or a love song.

For a long while, Bilbo just stood at the cell door, listening to the beautiful, sad, haunting melody. Fili sang with such longing, the hobbit couldn't bring himself to interrupt. He remained silent until Fili had finished singing.

"Fili?" he called softly. The prince started briefly.

"Bilbo? Is it you?" he asked, straining his eyes to look out into the corridor, even though he knew he couldn't see the hobbit.

"It's me. That…that was a lovely song you sang."

"Ah…you heard that," he said, crawling toward the bars to be able to better speak with the invisible burglar.

"Yes. What does it mean? I mean…what is it?"

"A love song…and a prayer…a prayer for a safe return."

"For Kili?"

"Yes. I could tell you what the words mean…but I suppose it loses a little of its quality in the translating."

"I don't mind," Bilbo said, leaning slightly against the bars. "I want to know."

_On a quiet evening at the beginning of May_

_When the bat was in the skies,_

_I heard a tearful young maiden_

_Singing beneath the shadow of the green branches._

_The sun was setting in the sea_

_And no stars yet graced the sky_

_When the young girl sang sorrowfully_

" _My love is on the high seas."_

_The night's dew began to fall,_

_Each bloom yielding softly to the droplets._

_The wind blew in a fragrant breeze,_

_Bringing life and renewal to each field._

_The girl tunefully sang her song,_

_Quiet and peaceful like the June dew,_

_And this chorus constantly repeated,_

" _My love is on the high seas."_

_Day darkened and the stars shone,_

_Setting their course amongst the clouds._

_The maiden sat, burdened by her sadness._

_Her singing could not have been more soothing._

_I moved closer to the young woman_

_Singing of her love sailing on the sea._

_Oh sweet was her sad lament._

" _My love is on the high seas."_

_The music enticed me_

_Nearer to the brown-haired maiden of the warm eyes,_

_And she prayed to the King of Heaven,_

" _Protect my love on the high seas."_

_Her heart was breaking with love_

_When I took her by the hand._

" _Wipe your eyes; your love is safe._

_I have returned to you from the high seas."_

"Oh," Bilbo whispered when he came to a stop. "That really is lovely."

"Thank you…I think," Fili said, his smile edged with bitterness and sorrow. "I miss him…and I want him with me…but I'm also grateful he's _not_ in this dreadful place."

"That makes sense. I don't…know that the elves would understand."

"No…no, they wouldn't. They never have. Kili…my brother…his scent is fading," he said mournfully as he rubbed a length of leather between his fingers. Then they moved to the ruby ring, which he now kept on a chain around his neck. "I'm not sure which is worse…having a part of him so near, but knowing he's far away…or having nothing at all. I suppose I'll know soon enough…when that scent is gone."

"I know it seems bleak now, but there may yet be some hope, Fili. Thorin is alive," he whispered through the bars. Immediately, Fili's eyes widened.

"How? How do you know this?"

"I've finally found the cell where they're keeping him. Not necessarily well, but alive, at least."

"Mahal be praised," Fili murmured, resting his forehead against the bars. "We are not yet lost. You must tell the others."

"I will…and I may also have figured a way out of here. Don't you worry, Fili. We'll escape from here, and you _will_ see your husband again…along with your children. You'll both be wonderful parents," Bilbo reassured him before slipping away to inform the rest of the company, already feeling even better about their seemingly hopeless situation.

XxX

"Kili?" the young dwarf heard Radagast calling for him from outside. "I think you might want to see this."

Sighing, Kili set aside the arrow he'd been working on and pulled himself to his feet, more waddling than walking to the door. Radagast had told him that the children should have been born about two weeks ago, but all he could get from the little ones was that they weren't ready yet, so they were left to worry over them. He had experienced small bouts of contractions over the last few days, but nothing worrisome just yet.

The brown wizard had gone out much earlier in the day on his sled and Kili had been starting to wonder if he was coming back tonight, but now he had made an appearance…apparently with something very important to see…and when Kili stepped out of the house, he thought he knew what.

One of the wizard's rabbit companions was laid out on the sled with Radagast crouched over her. She was huddled into a tight ball and the old wizard was coaxing her into relaxing. When she finally did, a clutch of tiny, wriggling, pink things could be seen cradled against her breast.

"Oh," Kili breathed, stopping short beside the sled when he beheld the baby rabbits. There were six of them in total, little pink things with no fur, blind and helpless…and to Kili, soon to bear himself, something precious.

"I knew Lucretia's time was coming and I hadn't seen her these last few days, so I went to look for her. It was a hard labor, though, late in the season. They'll be staying with us a little while, until poor Lucretia gets her strength back," Radagast explained, stroking the exhausted new mother's head. Kili looked to her with a warm smile on his face.

"Your children are beautiful, Lucretia," he said. That was the moment Radagast's head shot up, glancing around the forest with a look of sudden fear on his face.

"What? What is it?" Kili asked him, but before Radagast could say anything, a very distinct skittering noise could be heard coming through the trees.

"Spiders," the old wizard hissed, his tone dripping with venom.

"What?!" Kili demanded, eyes widening in fear. He recalled hearing of the giant spiders before.

"We'd best get inside. Hurry. Take them," Radagast urged, lifting the tiny rabbits from where they were nestled and passing them to Kili. "Get them inside. I will follow."

Hurrying as best he could, Kili carried the tiny babies into the house, struggling to get to his knees so he could lay them on his own pillow. Radagast came soon after with Lucretia slung over his shoulders. He laid the young mother beside Kili on his pallet before going back to seal the door.

"What do they want?" Kili asked, feeling stupid even as the words were leaving his mouth. There was only one thing a predator wanted.

"Fresh meat," the wizard answered, readying his staff. "These creatures can _smell_ a defenseless animal…wounded, babies, _pregnant_ animals."

Kili was so struck with fear, the only argument he could seem to draw from his addled brain was, 'I'm not an animal.' Before he could even manage to say this, though, he cried out in terrible pain, clutching his round belly as he collapsed, half on the pallet and half on a pile of books. Pain racked his body, leaving him nearly breathless.

"Oh…oh, _Gods!_ " he cried out, unable to move for the pain. "What's happening?"

Slowly, Radagast turned to look at him, a look of mild surprise and vague horror on his face.

"Oh, dear," he mumbled, cocking his head to the side, almost as if in curiosity. "Well…they say they are ready."

" _Now?!_ " he shouted, face going white with terror. "They want to come _now?!_ "

"Well…nothing for it, I suppose," the wizard said casually just as a rather large spider leg crashed through a weak section of wall. Radagast quickly turned back to the defense of his home.

"Mahal…Mahal have _mercy!_ " Kili prayed aloud as another sharp pain gripped his body.

_Not now. Not now!_ _**Please** _ _not now! We can't protect them! Sweet Mahal, you_ _**gave** _ _me these children. Don't take them away from me_ _**now!** _

Radagast growled low in his throat, glancing several times between the sealed door and the laboring dwarf. "Well, nuts and berries, this is going to be a long night."

Kili, meanwhile, lay helpless on the floor, utterly defeated by pain and despair. There was nothing he could do to stop this from happening…no weapon he could wield…nothing to be done. He felt tears squeeze from his eyes as he clutched at his stomach. Was this truly the pain of labor…or was he just going to lose these babies, too…as he'd lost his first one?

_Can I not keep the promise that I made to Fili? I know the fault is mine…for losing our first child…but Mahal…this is my_ _**wish.** _ _The only wish I have. Please make it come true._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. I'm really gonna do it. I'm gonna leave you hanging…right there…and then go sleep for twelve hours, cuz I am falling asleep at the keyboard. Good night.


	6. Hold You High and Steal Your Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ) I just love all you readers so darn much…and the more I love you, the more I torture you, of course.

Fili didn't know that he'd ever been so happy to see sunlight as when he was finally helped out of his barrel near Laketown. Before he was called to help with the others, he just lay on the riverbank for a moment, savoring the feeling of freedom. He rolled onto his side to make some sort of joke to Kili…only to remember that he wasn't there. He hadn't been there for several months now. Keeping back the pain that gripped at his heart, he moved to help Bilbo with the other barrels.

About a half hour later, they had a nearly full company dredged out on the bank, complaining bitterly of cold, hunger, and being waterlogged. Thorin was trying to rouse them all up, and Fili was trying to think of what Kili might do in this situation…some sort of joke or game to get everyone in high spirits again…when his middle was suddenly gripped by terrible pain. Crying out, he fell to his knees like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

"Fili! Fili! What's wrong?! What is it?" The cries came from all directions.

"Fili, what is it?" Thorin asked as he knelt beside him. "Are you injured?"

Already, the pain had passed, leaving the blond dwarf a trembling mass on the bank. The pain had been so intense…so real…and the _fear_ he'd felt…

"I think…I think it's Kili."

"Kili?" Thorin pressed, knowing that soul mates had been known to experience literal physical connections of this type.

"Yes…I think he's hurt…or _they_ are. I don't know."

_I just know my husband is in pain. Kili?! Kili, where are you?!_

XxX

Radagast hadn't been truly conscious of the spiders the first time he'd driven them off. He'd been too focused on helping Sebastian. Driving the foul creatures off had been a byproduct of the spell he'd used. Now he was more than a little distracted by Kili's terrible cries. Though…the boy couldn't help it, he supposed. The wizard could tell already that something was wrong. He would have to make quick work of this.

Digging his staff into the ground, Radagast focused his power, summoning up enchantments that were nearly gone from him…words from a time and place unimaginably distant…light to drive back the poison of Ungoliant.

As light poured forth from his staff, the old wizard could feel the vile creatures retreating, fleeing back into the endless night that was consuming the Greenwood.

Laying his staff aside, Radagast moved over to Kili, taking a moment to move Lucretia and her babies into a hollow in one of the tree trunks. Then he moved back to the stricken dwarf, taking the time to position him properly on the pallet before laying his hands on his stomach, searching for the problem.

Despite their peril, Kili was barely conscious of his surroundings anymore. He was consumed by pain, feeling things tearing inside of him… _breaking._

_Fili…Fili…where are you? I don't think I can do this. It hurts so much! It feels like I'm dying! Please! Please help me, Nadad! I need you! Fili! Mother! Thorin! What shall I do? I'm going to_ _**lose** _ _them! Someone help me!_

"The boy is turned about," he heard Radagast saying. "He will be breech…and most likely kill all three of you if he is born naturally."

" _No!_ " Kili cried out, eyes flying wide open in panic as he gazed up at the wizard, pleading and desperation in his eyes. "Isn't there something you can do?! At least…at least save _them!_ "

In a moment of clarity, Radagast knew that if he let this boy die, it would mean the end of Durin's Folk. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year…but Kili's end would be theirs. He could not allow Kili to die, so that meant saving the children, as well, for Kili would surely die if he lost even one more child. Perhaps if he used a more direct approach…?

"I think…the only way we can make this work…is to go directly in and take the babies out."

"You mean…cut me open," Kili said, his face soaked with sweat. He had heard of such things, and the chance was about fifty fifty he'd live through it, but if it could save his children, he would wield the knife himself. He nodded. "Yes. Do what you must. Save them."

Nodding, Radagast went to retrieve a knife, cleaning it with a solution from his collection. Then he grabbed a numbing solution from among the bottles. He spread the foul-smelling concoction over the dwarf's belly, but didn't think he'd be able to wait for it to fully set in. After about five minutes, he prodded at the stretched flesh. "Can you still feel it?"

"A little. It doesn't matter. Just do it. There's no time left," he groaned, knowing it to be true. If they didn't do this now, he would lose them both. Besides, he was already in so much pain, he didn't imagine a little more would make any difference.

Frowning, Radagast tossed him a cloth to bite down on. Wadding the filthy thing up and stuffing it in his mouth, Kili reached out to grab the windowsill and a chair, realizing what the wizard was telling him without words.

This was going to hurt.

When the blade passed through his skin, Kili bore down on everything in his grip. As he bit down on the cloth, he screamed into it, the sound only mildly muffled. Radagast may as well have not used the solution at all. It hurt. It hurt unlike anything he had ever endured…but he _would_ endure it.

_You can't die. You_ _**have** _ _to keep going. They still need you. They_ _**all** _ _need you._

_Don't die._ _**Please** _ _don't die._

_I won't._

Kili forced his eyes open…forced himself to watch as Radagast cut down through the layers of his body. He bore the pain…for what else could he do?

He watched as the old wizard reached into him…and pulled his tiny son out, quickly cutting him free of his body. Then, as the baby yowled in his arms, he passed him to Kili, who immediately took him, holding him against his chest with several cries of his own.

"Oh, Mahal! Mahal praise," he cried, tears streaming down his face as he beheld his firstborn's tiny features. He hardly even felt Radagast reach back for his daughter, but the baby girl was not to be forgotten. If her brother had been yowling, this little girl was wailing fit to bring the forest down.

"Mahal praise," Kili repeated as the brown wizard passed him his daughter. After so much loss, so much pain, he finally had them…Fili's children. He was finally holding them in his arms…the physical proof of their love.

"My babies, my babies," he cried over and over again, kissing each of their faces, blood-soaked though they still were. They were both absolutely perfect…so beautiful. "At last…at last."

Both babies had the beginnings of dark hair on their heads. Their features weren't very dwarven yet, still just tiny things, but they had plenty of time to grow into them. The boy calmed down almost immediately, but the girl was a little more fussy, crying loudly.

"Hush, dear heart. Everything's all right now," he soothed her, giving her an extra round of kisses. When Radagast took the boy to be washed, he was able to hold her in both arms and rock her. It soothed her a little, but she didn't really calm down until they'd both been washed and were back together, cradled in Kili's arms as he nursed them. He hadn't paid much mind, but the brown wizard had stitched him up while he'd first been holding them. The wizard didn't speak much, leaving the three to their own little world.

_Mahal, Fili…I wish you could see this. They're so lovely. I can't wait for you to finally see them._

It wasn't long after the children had fed that all three of them fell asleep, exhausted from their ordeal. Kili held them both tightly as he slept, tears of joy still lingering on his face.

XxX

Fili's bout of sympathy pain hadn't lasted very long, but the gut-wrenching worry that had come with it hadn't stopped. All through their audience with the master of Laketown and the meal that followed, all he could think about was Kili. As hungry as he was, he couldn't make himself eat for his nerves. Later on, as he paced the small room he'd been given, the only thought in his head was…

_Don't die._ _**Please** _ _don't die._

He couldn't be sure if it was imagined…or if it was their bond, but many times, he seemed to receive an answer.

_I won't._

"Fili, you need to rest," Thorin's voice broke into his troubled thoughts. Fili looked up to see his uncle, Bilbo, and Oin entering. Bilbo was carrying a tray of food. "Tearing yourself up this way will not help your brother."

"I know…but I can't help myself. I feel as if he needs me now…and I cannot help."

"At…at least drink some tea," Bilbo suggested meekly, holding out the tray. "It'll help calm you down."

Nodding vaguely, Fili took the mug from the tray, breathing in the scent of chamomile and peppermint before taking a drink from it. It wasn't until several sips in that the young dwarf began to feel his head going fuzzy. Pausing, he stared pointedly at the mug he held for several moments before moving to set it back on the tray.

"Well, that…that's just not fair," he said, turning away from the three and barely managing to stumble the five steps to his bed before collapsing, already sound asleep by the time he hit the blankets.

Thorin sighed. "You left me no choice, Sister-son. You will make yourself sick with this worrying."

"That sleeping draught should keep him under until morning," Oin said.

"Good. We will all need a decent night's rest before we venture on," Thorin said as the three headed out of the room.

Even though Fili had briefly been angered by their actions in his few lingering moments of consciousness, forcing him to sleep was probably the best thing they could have done for him, for in his dreams, Fili had already returned to the arms of his beloved.

" _How long are you going to make me wait?" Kili asks as he rolls on top of him._

" _Until you're old enough," Fili jibes as he pins him to his chest with both arms. It's his sixty-fourth birthday and Kili has promised him a night of whatever he wants…although that promise is quickly turning into Kili needling him for something_ _ **he**_ _wants._

" _So I'm old enough to have my cock sucked? To kiss every inch of your body and finger you until you come? I'm old enough to bring you to your full when we lie together at night…old enough for you to bring me to mine…yet I'm somehow not old enough for you to stick your prick in me?"_

" _It isn't the same and you_ _ **know**_ _it," he scolds his brother, unable to keep himself from running his fingers through his hair. "I don't want people thinking I've…forced you…into anything."_

" _Since when have we cared what people thought?" Kili teases, nibbling at the pulse point in his neck. Fili feels a small knot of_ _ **want**_ _flicker in the region below his belt and a tiny groan escapes him._

" _I_ _ **won't**_ _have any other dwarf believing I've done_ _ **anything**_ _but honor toward you…that I don't just_ _ **use**_ _you…as some of them believe. I would have them see how I love you."_

" _And_ _ **I**_ _would have them see that you are_ _ **mine**_ _," Kili near-snarls, biting down briefly on his skin and causing him to cry out. "I would have you take me before their eyes…especially they who believe we cannot possibly be bound to each other. I would have them see us as one…and know that the knot we tie together can_ _ **never**_ _be undone…no matter what girl they push on you to bear your children." This last part, he whispers, in pain…as if something has physically stung him. Fili holds him a little tighter, suddenly feeling just how searing that pain is through all points of contact._

" _I thought…you only sought physical pleasure through our union," he says slowly. Kili pulls back and looks down at him, his expression odd._

" _No. Mahal knows I've found plenty of_ _ **that**_ _in your arms, Nadad. To join with you…I seek only_ _ **you**_ _. I hear them talk…and they say it is like…being whole. I have always had you, Fili…from the moment I drew my first breath…and I have_ _ **never**_ _felt incomplete…but this thing they talk about…I want to know if there's_ _ **more.**_ _I want to feel absolutely everything I can with you…everything it's possible to feel. Let me feel it, Nadadel. Let's feel it together."_

_Fili lies amazed for several moments, just gazing up at his brother. For the first time in all his years, he does not see a little dwarfling who needs protecting. He sees a partner…_ _**his** _ _partner, an equal in all things, able to bear just as much weight as he can. In this moment, he knows, beyond doubt, that Kili is his mate. It doesn't matter that they can never wed; they are mated for life._

" _All right," Fili says softly, running his hands gently along Kili's hips. "All right."_

_Fili half-expects Kili to be hasty in this, as he's been begging him for it for years, but he's wrong. They both move slowly, taking languid joy in removing each other's clothes…in preparing. Even though they know each other so intimately, it's like experiencing it all for the first time again._

_They begin with Kili on top, but when Fili is finally buried in his little brother's body, he is lying beneath him, eased open and left writhing from their foreplay. There is no need to say how they have both longed for this moment. It is in the burning of their eyes and the press of their skin. When Fili begins to move in him, Kili groans aloud._

" _Hngh…you_ _ **can**_ _…go a little rougher, you know," he encourages him._

" _You're not in pain? You're all right?" Fili asks, more to reassure himself than anything._

" _Never better," Kili says, offering him a warm smile. "Come on. We've waited years for this. Now_ _ **take me,**_ _Nadad. Make me_ _ **yours.**_ _"_

" _As you wish, my azyungal," he whispers into his ear. He pushes harder, his thrusts somewhat clumsy at first, but they do eventually work up a rhythm between them…push and pull…give and take…up and down. Their fingers intertwine as they move together, lips pressing together in sloppy kisses as they call out each other's names. Kili comes first, giving a wordless cry of passion as he collapses on their bed, melted with pleasure. Fili isn't far behind, gasping sharply as he fills his lover with his essence._

_Struggling to remain upright, Fili trembles as he holds himself inside Kili, gazing down to see the same adoration and wonder he feels reflected in those lovely dark eyes._

_For what seems like hours, they just lie there tangled together, breathing hard and gazing at each other with dazed, thrilled smiles on their faces. Then, feeling the need to reassure his brother, Kili reaches a hand up to tangle in his disheveled blond tresses._

" _Don't be afraid," he says softly. "We're safe. We're all okay. We're coming home to you just as soon as we can."_

_A different sort of smile lights Fili's face, broken and exultant all at once. Just as tears of joy begin to fall from his eyes,_ Kili woke from the dream with a sharp intake of breath.

It had been so amazingly real…the dream of their first time. For a moment he could have sworn he was actually there with him, telling him…telling him…

"Mahal," he whispered, glancing down at the two newborns snuggled against his chest. So it hadn't been some cruel dream, after all. It had really happened. He had finally given birth to his brother's babies.

"At last," he whispered again, kissing each of their foreheads softly. The boy remained still, but the girl yawned wide before snuggling back against him.

"I imagine they'll be wanting names," Radagast said as he came down the stairs.

"Yes," Kili said softly, watching his babies sleep. It didn't seem fair…to name them without Fili…but he couldn't be sure when they would all be together again and they couldn't just go nameless in the meantime. Besides, he thought he already had a good idea of what these two little ones should be called.

"Nuri," he said to the baby boy, dropping a kiss on his head. "The spark…because he was the first to move. And Shiri…for song…because she always liked it best when I sang. Nuri and Shiri…my treasures…rarer than any gem…and more precious than all gold the earth could possibly yield," he exulted, pressing a kiss to Shiri's head. Her eyes blinked open and she squinted up at him, then she smacked her lips together and cooed sleepily.

"Well, the little songbird seems to approve. I believe this dwarfling will be much like a bird," Radagast said with a smile. "You will get no rest from her."

Kili laughed gently, careful not to disturb the little ones. "I look forward to it," he said, realizing that he actually felt like he'd slept well. For the first time since leaving Fili, he actually felt well-rested. A good thing, because Nuri and Shiri were going to require all of his energy, and more besides. He was a parent now and the babies would depend on him for absolutely everything. Birth had been the threshold where he'd discovered the strength to care for them. Now he would have to prove himself worthy of the gift Mahal had given him.

_Don't fear, my treasures. Nothing will harm you so long as I'm here. I will lay down on fire before I allow_ _**anything** _ _to hurt either of you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I suppose this chappie’s a little shorter than the others, but that seemed like a good stopping point. A nice balance of fluff, drama, and smex…and next time around there will be plenty of fluffs to go around…among other things.


	7. As Strong As Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well…I suppose I may have lied a little bit…about there being mostly fluff in this chapter. It seems there are equal parts fluff and angst, so…here, have some flangst.

The next few days moved by in something of a daze for Kili. Still recuperating from the decidedly serious operation, it was all he could do to keep up with the twins' schedule of sleeping, eating, and crying. If he wasn't feeding them, he was either burping or changing them. Radagast helped when he could, but the young prince preferred to do what he could by himself. He didn't know when he'd ever been so exhausted in his entire life…and he was jubilant every moment. Even when he was covered with vomit and spit-up, he was the happiest dwarf Middle-earth had ever seen. Nuri and Shiri truly were his treasures and he loved every minute of their lives.

As she had in the womb, Shiri liked it best when he sang to them, so he sang as much as he could, any song he could remember: old lullabies Mother had sung when _he_ was a dwarfling, Thorin's old songs of Erebor, little rhymes from childhood, love songs he and Fili had learned together, anything he could come up with, every moment pouring out his joy.

The baby rabbits were growing, as well, fur growing in and eyes starting to open. When they could finally move about, they would follow Radagast and Kili around the house like a troupe of ducklings. Whenever Kili laid the twins down to change them, the baby rabbits would hop closer to sniff and explore. Shiri smiled for the first time when one of the little rabbits sniffed her cheek, its whiskers tickling her and making her laugh. Kili chuckled right along with her, leaning down to give her little foot a kiss before moving over to give Nuri a kiss on the cheek. Hearing his sister laugh, the little boy also started to giggle.

Everyday, Kili felt himself growing stronger, and the twins were getting bigger. He could hardly wait for the day when he could begin the journey back home to Fili. The scent of his husband had just about faded from his coat, but Kili still put it to good use every night. When he lay the twins down to sleep in the rough cradle they'd cobbled together, he tucked them in beneath the warmth of Fili's coat, hoping they might pick up a little of that precious, comforting scent.

_I'll bring our children home to you, Nadad. I swear I will. We're coming home. Just wait for us._

XxX

One would think that a young prince would be nervous the night before his first true battle, but that wasn't really the case with Fili. He had been feeling like he could conquer the world since he'd dreamed of Kili that night in Laketown. Certainly, there was no way to know whether it had been only a dream or if they had actually connected in that moment, but Thorin's heir had been comforted by it, nonetheless.

Not even the threat of war could dampen Fili's spirit. He was behind Thorin one hundred percent, not because of the treasure, but because Erebor was their home. This place was the home he was going to build for Kili and their children, for they _were_ going to return to him. He had no fear of that anymore.

_I will fight to make Erebor safe for our family, Kili; I promise. So long as there is breath in my body, I will fight. I will make you all proud of me, my love._

XxX

_Battle._

_Furious, ugly, gruesome battle. It's all around him. The air is a hazy red and the taste of blood is in his mouth. All about, he can hear the hideous screams of the dying: dwarves, men, elves, goblins, orcs, wargs…all fighting…all dying. He has never seen such a horrible sight._

_Then he sees his family…Fili and Thorin…at the center of the bloody action, fighting fiercely. They are battling against Azog…and the contest appears to be evenly matched…right up until the Defiler delivers a heavy blow to Thorin's head with the flat of his axe, sending him crashing to the ground._

" _Thorin!" Fili shouts, moving in to defend their fallen uncle. With his twins blades, the brave prince blocks the blow from the pale orc's weapon, but he doesn't see his enemy's clawed metal hand coming up from beneath._

" _ **Fili!**_ _" he screams, but his brother cannot hear him, and his cry of pain as the merciless metal pierces the soft flesh beneath his armor is like an arrow through Kili's heart. Azog sneers as he twists the hand, relishing the young Durin's pain. When he pulls the hand out, most of Fili's innards come with it._

" _ **NO!**_ _" he screams as Fili falls, the light in his eyes already gone when he hits the bloodstained earth._

Kili screamed as he shot up from his pallet, covered in a cold sweat. The sounds of battle were immediately replaced with the sound of Nuri and Shiri crying.

Numb and shaken, Kili automatically reached out for his children, lifting them both into his arms and holding them close, beginning to rock them.

"I…I'm so sorry, my gems. I didn't mean to wake you. Please…don't cry," he begged softly.

"What's all the ruckus down here?" Radagast asked as he came down from upstairs. "The moss is starting to wilt from the noise. Babies I can understand, but a grown dwarf-"

The wizard stopped short when he saw the stricken look on Kili's face. He was always completely attentive to the twins, but right now, he barely seemed to realize he was holding them. Treading softly, Radagast slowly took the babies from their mother. Continuing to rock back and forth, Kili wrapped his arms around his own body.

"What happened?" the old wizard repeated.

"I…I saw…a battle. Fili was there…and…and he…oh, _Mahal!_ " he cried out, struggling to keep back tears. It had been long since he had wept at a nightmare.

Radagast looked thoughtful as he rocked the twins. "Well…I _would_ say it was but a dream…but you and your brother share a soul bond, so…somehow I doubt it was only that."

"Then…there really will be a battle…and Fili, he…he will _die_ ," Kili whispered, nearly choking on the last word.

"The trouble is there's no way to know when this battle will occur. It could have already happened."

"Or it could be happening right _now_ ," Kili said, jumping to his feet. "He…he _needs_ me. Radagast…I can't wait anymore. I have to go to him. I need to get to Erebor."

"You shouldn't," the brown wizard advised, his expression grave. "You are not fully healed. You won't be of much use…if Nuri and Shiri should need protecting."

For a moment, Kili looked horribly torn, but he finally shook his head. "I'll have to risk it. Fili needs me. I can't let him die; not when I can stop it. Can you at least…show me the way through the forest? I can do it on my own from there."

Radagast twittered nervously for a moment before closing his eyes and nodding. "If that is your choice, Kili…then I can take you where you need to go. The journey North through the wood is only about a day by sled."

"When can we leave?"

"Just as soon as you're ready to go."

Kili was ready to go within the hour. Nuri and Shiri were secured in special slings that held them snugly against his stomach, allowing him to carry his weapons and supplies on his back. Shiri was perfectly content with her little nest, speeding lightly through the forest. Nuri, on the other hand, wasn't at all pleased with the high speed, and was very cranky all the way. While Kili kept one arm wrapped tightly around Radagast, he kept the other hand perched on Nuri's small head, keeping him calm as best he could.

"Word travels quickly with the birds," Radagast called to him over his shoulder. "They say the dragon Smaug is dead."

Briefly, Kili rested his head against the wizard's back, breathing a sigh of relief. At least there was _some_ good news.

"More still is happening, though," he continued. "Armies have gathered…many armies."

"Why?"

"To fight for the wealth of Erebor."

One again, Kili felt fear grip his heart. This was it, then…the battle he'd seen…the cause his husband would die for…to defend their home…so that their children would not live as outcast wanderers…as _they_ had.

_This isn't what I wanted. Mahal…did you give me Nuri and Shiri…only to take their father away from me? Please…please let me get there in time._

"Mahal have mercy," he prayed, barely seeing the forest speed by.

XxX

The fighting had been going strong for several hours when Fili and Thorin came face to face with Azog. The battle had seemed to turn when Thorin's company had joined the fighting, so the would-be king under the mountain was eager to do battle with the Defiler…and of course, Fili was right there to back him up, twins swords at the ready.

At some point during the fighting, the pale orc's mace had been lost and he'd replaced it with a dwarven axe, which both Durins were enraged by. Which of their fallen brothers had this creature taken this honored weapon from? Such questions ceased to matter, though, when the orc managed to deliver a crunching blow to Thorin's head with the flat of the axe head.

"Thorin!" Fili shouted as his uncle went crashing to the ground, knocked completely senseless by the blow. Not even stopping to think, the prince moved in to protect his uncle. He crossed his blades in front of him, catching Azog's downward swing.

It was a struggle to hold back the power behind that blow, but Fili somehow managed it. His body trembled beneath the force of it, but his strength held out…if only just. Azog sneered as he watched his struggle.

"Such a sad little dwarf," the pale orc mocked him in Black Speech. "Not even fully grown. You will _die_ here, child of Durin…and do you know what I'm going to do…once we've killed all of you and taken your mountain? I'm going to find that sweet little lamb you sent into hiding…the very last Durin. I'll find him…I'll _defile_ him…take my pleasure in his pretty flesh…then I'll slit his throat."

As Azog described what he planned to do to Kili, Fili felt himself getting angrier and angrier. He didn't know how this vile beast had found out about his brother, nor did he particularly care. He only knew he _wasn't_ going to let it happen. He would kill Azog himself before he even let him _touch_ Kili.

Finally, when he couldn't bear to hear the Defiler's hideous words any longer, Fili gave a shriek of rage and threw the pale orc back.

"You will not _touch_ Kili! Not while I'm still breathing!" he snarled, running full tilt at the orc chieftain.

Azog raised his weapon, laughing as Fili charged him. The prince was prepared to take the next blow, but he did _not_ see the Defiler's metal claw coming up, ready for an upward thrust.

"Now _DIE!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, these do seem to just be getting shorter. Absolutely could not resist that one, though. Sweet Mahal, I'm a terrible person.


	8. Return From the High Seas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am…so sorry this chapter took so long. It's been a…busy May, to say the least. Hopefully, you're not all dead from being left hanging so long. Eheh. For those of you still alive, here is the final chapter.

Kili and Radagast rode through the rest of the day and long into the night, not stopping until they'd reached the northeastern border of the forest at dawn.

"The battle is over," the brown wizard announced grimly as he surveyed the Desolation.

"And…and Fili?" Kili asked, his mouth dry as he followed Radagast's gaze across the barren field toward a war camp just visible in the distance.

"I couldn't say."

Swallowing hard against what felt like sandpaper in his throat, Kili dismounted the sled. "Radagast…thank you…for everything you've done for me…and for my children…but I must go to my brother."

"And…if you find him among the slain? What will you do then?" the wizard asked, his gaze hard on the young parent.

Kili's first thought was that he would throw himself on the sword that had failed to protect his beloved, but his next thought was that Nuri and Shiri still needed him. For their sakes, he had to pray that Fili was alive. For if he was not, if Kili had come too late, then these helpless babies would be shorn of _both_ their parents this bleak day, for the young prince knew he would not survive losing his brother…not really. He might go on breathing for many years yet…but _he_ would die. That vital thing that made him _Kili_ , and not some mindless lump of flesh, would die with Fili. That was the truth of a soul bond.

"There is no need to fear that," he said, his own expression hardening. "He _cannot_ be dead."

With that, Kili turned and began the trek across the scorched earth. He wanted to take the distance at a run, but he was weighed down by the twins, also having no wish to shake them up too much. As such, that walk toward the camp was the longest distance he'd ever traveled in his life. Shiri began to cry as they drew closer to the bedraggled camp.

"Hush, my darling," he soothed as he shifted the baby girl in her sling, so that he might cradle her against his chest. "Everything's going to be all right."

"Kili? Lad, is that really you?!"

Looking up at the sound of the startled voice, Kili saw Bofur and Bifur racing toward him.

"By Durin's beard, you're alive!" Bofur said, clapping him on the shoulders. "And who is this here?" he asked, glancing inside Shiri's sling.

"Shiri. Her name is Shiri," Kili answered, suddenly feeling somewhat dazed. "Where's-"

"By Mahal, a little girl. Thorin will be overjoyed to know you're safe. Bombur, run and fetch them."

"Bofur…is Fili here?"

Briefly, a disquiet look flashed in the older dwarf's eyes, but before he could say anything, another voice boomed across the campground.

"Kili!" Thorin called as he came toward him, flanked by Balin and Dwalin. His head was wrapped in a layer of bloody bandages, but other than that, he seemed to be fine. He also came forward to give his nephew a good clap on the shoulders. "Mahal praise. My sister-son has come back to us."

"Thorin-"

"It's Kili. He's back. He's alive. He's got both babies. They're all fine."

The calls seemed to come from everywhere at once. Before long, Kili was surrounded by the members of the company, all eager to greet him and see the new Durins. But the twins were starting to get fussy and he was getting desperate. All the members of their company were here, alive and well…all…except one…the only one who mattered.

"Uncle!" Kili finally cried out, unable to keep back his fear any longer. "Where is Fili? Where is my brother? Why isn't he here? Uncle, tell me he's all right. _Please._ "

At this, Thorin's expression also fell into something solemn. "Fili lives, Kili…but only just."

"Take me to him," Kili insisted, clutching Shiri a little tighter against his chest. "Take me to my husband."

The small procession was solemn as Thorin led the way through the camp. Kili only half heard his uncle's words as he rocked Shiri, more to comfort himself than her.

"Fili fought against Azog when I fell. The filth tried to attack him with that claw, nearly gutted him."

"What…what happened?"

"We don't…rightly know. I was unconscious and he hasn't been talking. He will almost certainly speak to you, though. Fili is within," he said, coming to a stop outside one of the tents. The others all hung back, allowing Kili the space to enter.

Fili lay facing away from him when he moved through the tent flap. Kili would have been unnerved by how still he was lying were it not for the soft sound of his singing…a bittersweet love song sung in Khuzdul…a song he knew.

_The music enticed me_

_Nearer to the brown-haired maiden of the warm eyes,_

_And she prayed to the King of Heaven,_

" _Protect my love on the high seas."_

_Her heart was breaking with love_

Kili crept silently to the other side of the tent, smiling warmly as he took Fili's hand, singing with him until he fell into a shocked silence.

_When I took her by the hand._

" _Wipe your eyes; your love is safe._

_I have returned to you from the high seas."_

For a moment, Fili just stared at him in shock while Kili smiled at him, tears pricking his eyes at the weakened state his husband was in.

"You've come back to me," he whispered, tears shining in his own eyes as he watched Kili break into tears. Being careful of the bandages that bound his stomach, and of his own bundles, he wrapped his arms around his brother.

"Oh, Fili…I'm so sorry. I wasn't here when you needed me. And now…"

"Why did you leave me?" Fili asked, tears squeezing from his eyes as he held tightly to his wayward sibling.

"I had to. I had no choice. But I'll never leave you again, azyungal. Just…just don't leave _me_. _Please._ "

Fili chuckled quietly, wincing as he lay back down on his cot. "I won't be leaving you for a good long while…though there were some who would've taken exception to that. You could've…told me…you know."

"You…you mean you _knew?_ " Kili asked, feeling a little more at ease now Fili had assured him he wasn't at death's door.

"Of _course_ I knew, you little idiot. You really think I can't tell when something's different with you? I was going to talk to you about it…but then you were _gone._ "

"Fili…can you ever forgive me?"

"Of course I can," he said softly, reaching a hand forward to lay it upon Shiri's small head. "If you introduce me."

Somehow managing to laugh and cry all at once, Kili nodded, pulling a chair over to the cot and sitting down beside his brother. He first took little Nuri from his sling and held him up for Fili to see.

"Fili…this is Nuri. He is our firstborn…and he will be your heir."

"Nuri," Fili said reverently, leaning forward as best he could to kiss the baby's forehead. "You're the most beautiful princeling the house of Durin has ever seen. I'm sorry I wasn't there for your mother…to welcome you…my son. Heh…my little boy," he said softly, feeling the tears prick at his eyes a little more persistently, not realizing how surreal it would be to say those words until he'd actually said them. Reaching out a hand to Nuri's little one, he gasped softly when his son wrapped his tiny fingers around his larger one. "Kili…he's so beautiful."

"Matched only by his twin sister," Kili said, re-tucking their baby son in his sling and easing Shiri out of hers. "This is our daughter, Shiri…our princess."

"Lovely," Fili said, reaching out for the little girl's hand and pressing a kiss to it. "Little Shiri, you are just as perfect as your brother, my girl. Husband…these are absolutely the most beautiful children Erebor has ever seen. I knew it would happen…one day…and now here they are. Kili…our children," he said, looking up at Kili with an exultant smile on his face. Then, as the two brothers smiled at each other, Kili felt something slide onto his finger. Glancing down, he found the ruby ring back in place on his right ring finger.

"Fili-"

"Don't you ever take this off…ever again," Fili said, his tone sobering up slightly. "I don't want there to be any doubt in anyone's mind as to who you are."

"And who am I?" Kili asked, his voice quiet as he tucked Shiri back into her sling.

"You are the consort of he who will one day be king under the mountain… _my_ consort…my husband. You are he who bore my children…just as you always wanted. You are the most important dwarf in all of history. You are _mine_. I want there to be no doubt…that you belong to me…and I to you. Swear it to me, Kili."

"Have I not already given you my oath…my king?" Kili asked, though he still pressed a kiss to the ruby in the fashion of a vow. The stone was still warm from where it had rested against Fili's chest.

"I want it again. Please…please, Kili," he begged, his voice quavering slightly as he took his brother's hand and laid a kiss of his own upon the blood red jewel. "Tell me you love me."

"Fili, son of Vili," Kili began, looking into his brother's eyes. "I take thee at thy word…and vow to cleave only unto thee…until the day they lay us both in stone. Nadadel…I love _thee_ , and no time, distance, or darkness will make that otherwise. I will never leave your side again."

"Kili, son of Vili, I take thee at thy word," he returned, smiling at his young husband. "Now give your brother a kiss. I-"

Kili barely waited for the command. His lips were on Fili's before he'd finished talking. For both of them, the sensation was like the first gasp of air after nearly drowning. For all the long months they'd been apart, they had been drowning, and only now could they breathe again. When they finally separated, Nuri was starting to get fussy. Fili smiled as he lay back down, eyes closing.

"Heh, I suppose they'll be needing a nap after your journey. Their father does, too. Let the others meet the newest members of our company. We can talk more later."

"You promise?"

"Absolutely. We'll all be here when we wake this time."

Kili smiled warmly, leaning forward to kiss his husband's forehead before standing from his chair. As he headed out of the tent, though, he stopped, turning to look back at his brother.

"Fili?"

"Hmm?"

"I never asked…what happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"I…I had a vision…a vision of your death," he said, nearly choking on the last word. "How did you survive?"

"I'm not…really sure what happened myself. If you had a vision, you saw who I was fighting. I didn't see it, but he was about to deliver a blow with that nasty claw. Then…then I heard something. I thought I was crazy at the time, but maybe…maybe you really did reach out to me. I heard a voice call my name… _your_ voice."

"Mine?" Kili breathed.

"Yes…and just in time, I stepped back. Just that one step…saved my life. He _did_ pierce me…nearly gutted me like a stuck pig…but he didn't manage it."

"What happened to him?" Kili asked, feeling sick at the thought of speaking the Defiler's name.

For a moment, Fili was silent, almost as if he were in a trance…like he couldn't quite believe what he was about to say.

"I killed him."

"You… _what?_ "

"He was threatening you…threatening to hunt you down…to defile you…and kill you. I couldn't bear it. So when he was trying to gut me…I put both of my swords through his throat. Took his head clean off."

"You killed the Defiler?"

Fili nodded. "I did it for you."

"Well…I'd say you've earned your rest, then. I'll be back in a few hours. You'd better be here when I return."

"Won't go far," Fili called softly, closing his eyes yet again as he started to drift off.

Kili couldn't keep the smile off his face as he wandered back through the camp in search of the others. Fili was alive. He was _alive_ …and their little family was finally whole and would never be sundered again now that they truly had a home. Now that Erebor was reclaimed and Smaug and their other enemies were defeated, there would be many, many years for them to be together and to love one another. Along with the smile, Kili felt tears of joy spring to his eyes as he comforted his baby son. He couldn't wait for the others to meet the twins properly now.

XxX

Thorin Oakenshield wished he could say he was surprised to enter his throne room to find little Nuri sitting on his throne, but he wasn't really. The only thing particularly surprising about the situation was that the princeling was minus one very fiery twin sister.

"What's-"

" _Shhh!_ " the five-year-old hissed, jamming a finger up against his lips for silence. Thorin shook his head, smiling as he approached.

"Why do we need to be quiet?" he whispered to his grand nephew as he knelt beside the throne, coming down to his height.

"Shiri's _hiding_ ," Nuri whispered back, nodding his head sagely.

"Shouldn't you look for her, then?"

Nuri shook his head. "If I wait long enough, she'll get itchy and come find me instead."

While Thorin was pleased that the boy had figured this out, he also knew that Shiri was very much like her parents before her. She would not stray far from her sibling. So Thorin got to his feet and began to circle the large throne. When a first look revealed nothing, the king under the mountain stood thinking for several minutes before a knowing grin lit his normally stony features. Moving around to the back once more, he looked to the top of the throne. Sure enough, there was Shiri, clinging to the back of the monolith. When she saw him looking at her, she began to giggle.

"You know your mama would kill you if he caught you up there, little spider."

"He'd hafta catch me first," she said, sticking her tongue out at the king of Durin's folk.

"Oh, don't underestimate your mama. He'll outrun the best of them. Now come down from there, you nasty little goblin. Your parents will worry."

"What happens if I don't _wanna_ come down?" she teased, hoisting herself onto the very top of the throne.

"Shiri, that's not _fair!_ " her brother whined as he came around to the back of the throne with their great uncle. "You _know_ I can't climb."

"Well, if you don't want to come down, I suppose Nuri and I will have to leave without you. Balin and Ori are waiting and your parents are looking for you."

He wasn't serious; of course he wasn't, but the twins both looked horrified at the mere thought of being separated. Almost immediately, Shiri leapt from her high perch. Thorin caught her easily, all the while thinking of how Kili would almost certainly murder him for letting her do that. He chuckled to himself as he tucked the fiery little princess under one arm while lifting her brother up under the other, carrying them out together.

Kili met them a few hallways down, looking slightly winded. When he saw his uncle with his two babies, he immediately composed himself, trying not to let show how worried he'd been.

"Where did you find them?"

"They were playing hide and seek in the throne chamber."

"You two _know_ you're not supposed to play in there," Kili reprimanded them, taking Shiri from Thorin. "You could easily fall off that causeway."

Shiri scowled at her mama. "Whydya look at just _me_ when you say that?" she demanded petulantly.

"Because Nuri actually listens to his mama, you little monster. He only disobeys when he's got you whispering in his ear about how fun it will be to climb this tapestry or track that hallway with mud so everyone will slip. If there's mischief to be done, my little spitfire's usually in the middle of it," he said, slinging his wily daughter over one shoulder and heading back the way he'd come, Thorin and Nuri close behind.

The twins had inherited Kili's dark hair and small features, save for the ears…those were Fili's…along with the striking grey eyes. Were it not for the difference in temperament, it would be near impossible to tell the two dwarflings apart. Nuri was quiet and observant, while Shiri had inherited both her parents' fun-loving natures in equal measure, making her twice the terror they had ever been. Different as they were, though, they loved each other dearly and would not suffer to be kept apart. Threatening to separate them was sometimes the only way to get Shiri to behave.

Fili swept into the library about the same time they did, looking panicked, but then he saw Kili and Thorin, each with a twin, and his face instantly broke into a relieved smile.

"Shiri, Nuri, you bad things," he scolded, his face only half-serious. "We were worried about you."

"Whatcha worried for? Nothing bad can happen as long as we're together," Shiri said matter-of-factly. All of the other dwarves sighed quietly at the girl's youthful naivety. If only it could be so, truly, that no harm could befall these precious children while they were together. The world was dangerous enough, and even though their enemies had been defeated, darkness was still growing in the world. There was much to fear…but much to be brave for, as well.

"That's right," Kili told her as he settled his daughter down on the little bench she so hated. "Just stick together and you'll both be perfectly fine."

"Why do we have to have lessons today?" Shiri whined as Thorin set Nuri beside her.

"It is essential to learn the history of one's people," Balin started off on one of his slightly long-winded lectures, but Ori soon stepped in, giving Kili space for his own explanation. Balin was the twins' official tutor, but Ori was always on hand to make sure the lessons were still interesting for the children.

"Did you know your brother likes lessons very much?" Kili asked her. At first, the dwarfling couldn't seem to look at him, but she eventually nodded her head 'yes.' "He only skips them like he does because _you_ want to. Nuri would do _anything_ for you, my little songbird. Wouldn't it be nice to do what _he_ wants for a change?"

It took a while, but Shiri did nod her head in the end, turning to smile shyly at her brother.

"Well, if that's all the excitement for the afternoon, I'm due to have lunch with my husband," Thorin announced, smiling at them all before turning and heading out of the library.

"Can you be good for Balin and Ori for at least a _few_ hours? For your brother?" Kili asked Shiri.

She sighed and let out a long, "Yeees," before reaching over to take Nuri's hand…as if asking for his strength, in a way.

"That's my good girl," Kili said, hugging his daughter and kissing her cheek before moving over to hug and kiss Nuri, as well. Fili then moved in to give them both kisses of his own.

"You're both doing so well. We'll see you in a few hours for supper."

Both twins watched their parents go with a little sadness. It was an effort on Fili and Kili's part not to look back. Lessons were a new thing and it was still a little difficult for all parties to be separated for those few hours during the day.

"That was a nice trick with Shiri. I commend your cunning, brother mine."

"Well, the little songbird's not as hardhearted as she likes to think. She would also do anything for her brother," Kili said, a fond smile on his face.

"Her parents' daughter."

"Through and through. Shiri will be Nuri's most faithful knight, I think."

Fili laughed. "Yes, our daughter the warrior. I'd say she's more looking forward to the days she's old enough to heft an axe and taking lessons with Dwalin."

Kili's laughter joined his husband's, remembering the look on the older dwarf's face when Shiri had taken to watching him and Thorin at sparring. "Once the old badger gets used to the idea, of course. He's a little old-fashioned."

"True, but I don't think he could really find fault with someone who enjoys fighting about as much as he does, no matter what's between their legs."

A slightly disquiet look wormed its way onto Kili's face at this. "Fili…does it ever…bother you?"

"Does what bother me?"

"Shiri's…interest in combat."

Fili thought a few moments before answering. "Sometimes. I have no qualms about her learning to defend herself…but I think, perhaps, some will not understand. It will be a struggle for her…only I don't think she will care."

"No…she cares little what others think."

"Much like us?" Fili teased and again, Kili began to smile.

"Much, so I suppose _someone_ in the family had to have a cool head. Praise Mahal for our Nuri."

"Praise, indeed. Though…it does seem like it's been a while since we did something _truly_ impulsive. Perhaps we're overdue," he suggested, the smirk that lit his face instantly shifting in mood.

"Ooh," he shuddered, stopping and turning to look at his brother with thinly veiled interest in his eyes. "Whatever am I going to do with you, you naughty prince under the mountain?"

"Take advantage of the time we have away from the little orcs?"

"Now that I'll do."

No more words were exchanged after that, as the younger prince was almost immediately slammed up against the stone wall, a knee between his thighs, wrists pinned over his head, and a hot, demanding mouth covering his own.

XxX

Despite Fili and Kili's best efforts, the twins were fourteen by the time Kili conceived again. This pregnancy was decidedly less stressful than the previous one, as Fili was present for every minute of this one, caring for and pampering his brother as he thought he should be. When Kili finally went into labor, Fili refused to be driven from their chambers, as was usually done with kings and their heirs. Nuri and Shiri were the ones left to wait anxiously for the arrival of their new sibling, along with all the other members of Thorin's company.

"So what was it like when we were born?" Shiri asked, swinging her feet, as they didn't quite touch the floor from the bench she and Nuri sat on.

"How many times do we have to tell you that we weren't there, lass?" Bofur asked, though he was clearly amused by the princess' attempts to pretend she wasn't worried.

"Always one more time. Father likes to _pretend_ he was there."

"There _was_ a wizard there, though," Thorin pointed out, smirking teasingly at his grand niece. "Perhaps _that's_ why you're such a little monstrosity, mockingbird? Maybe the Brown Wizard summoned an imp to possess you?"

Shiri went practically starry-eyed at the thought. "The demon warrior of Erebor. That would be…too amazing for tales, even."

"Rich coming from a scamp who can barely lift a proper axe," Dwalin teased her.

"You just watch your tongue, Mister Dwalin," she replied, sticking her own tongue out at him. "Someday I'll be able to."

"Yes…but until then, you're still just a nipper with a toy sword."

In the middle of the banter, a fresh cry of pain echoed from the princes' chamber. Both twins paled at the sound, and Nuri wasn't even pretending to not be worried.

"Is Mama going to be all right?" he asked, gripping his sister's hand, not really caring who answered him.

"Oh, he'll be fine, lad," Balin reassured him. "If the stories he tells of _your_ birth are anything to go by, this labor is going much easier."

A few minutes later, Kili's cries were replaced by the mewling cries of a newborn. Gloin raised an eyebrow.

"Well…that was quick."

Yet another half hour passed before the door to the chamber opened and the twins' grandmother appeared in the entrance, beaming.

"Nuri? Shiri? You can come in now."

"The child…what is it?" Thorin asked as the twins scampered to Dis.

"It is a boy," she said, shaking her head in slight reprimand as she ushered her grandchildren into the chamber. Immediately, the call began to go out that a prince was born.

The atmosphere in the princes' chamber was much calmer. Kili was lying on their bed with a snugly wrapped white bundle in his arms. Fili sat beside him while Oin and two other physicians cleaned up. Nuri and Shiri moved forward, Shiri experiencing a rare moment of quiet. Kili smiled when he saw them approach.

"Would you like to meet your baby brother?"

Both twins nodded eagerly. Shiri climbed up onto the large bed, sitting cross-legged beside her parents. Nuri stood just behind her, hands on her shoulders. Kili shifted the baby in his arms so his siblings could see him. Eyes half-closed, the baby dwarf yawned as he looked up at them.

"He's pretty," Nuri said softly.

"Can…can I hold him?" Shiri asked, feeling strangely shy.

"Of course," Kili said. Fili showed her how to position her arms before picking up the little boy and transferring him to his sister.

For a moment, the baby seemed like he might start to fuss, but then he calmed down, yawning again before nodding off to sleep. For what felt like a long time, the twins just stared at the sleeping baby, spellbound. Kili chuckled as he watched.

"Heh, he seems to like his big sister."

Shiri looked up, smiling proudly. "Well, why wouldn't he? What's not to like?"

Both parents laughed quietly and Nuri squeezed her shoulders a little tighter. "Nothing. Nothing at all, you nasty little goblin."

"Love you, too, dragon breath."

"So what's his name?" Nuri asked their parents, grinning as he looked up from his siblings. Oin, who had just reentered the chamber, froze upon hearing the question, a strange look in his eyes.

"The child is Durin," he said, as if someone were whispering the words in his ear. The little family all looked toward the old dwarf. "Your boy is the Deathless…returned to us again."

Feeling worried, Kili quickly took his new son back into his arms, holding him securely against his chest. "What are you talking about?"

"Your son is the First Father given flesh once more. Durin has not been seen since our people were cast out of Khazad Dum. The boy will be the one to return. _He_ will lead us back."

"To Khazad Dum?" Fili repeated, hands unconsciously traveling to his husband's shoulders, as if to enfold both him and the baby in a protective embrace.

"He will be the Last. He has come…and will come no more after. Call him by another name if you will, but he _is_ Durin."

As he spoke these last words, Oin's eyes blinked rapidly and he seemed to snap out of the trance. Dis hurried to his side.

"Are you all right?"

"I…I'm sorry, lads. I don't know what happened," he tried to apologize as Dis hustled him to a chair. No one really seemed to hear him, though. The two princes were focused completely on their family.

"Could it be true?" Kili asked, looking up at Fili.

"Well…the old raven's never been wrong yet," Fili said, his grip on his brother softening slightly.

"But…our son… _our_ son," Kili murmured, hugging the babe even tighter. "Durin is such a heavy name…and he's so _young_."

"But…if he's got to do something dangerous…we can protect him," Shiri insisted, resting a hand on her mother's. "Nothing can hurt us as long as we're together," she said, repeating their old mantra.

"Maybe…maybe we could just call him Duri…for now," Nuri suggested. Of course, they both knew the tales of the First Father of the dwarves. They knew exactly how heavy a name it would be.

Kili smiled as he took in the looks on his twin children's faces…so earnest…so ready to defend their brother, even though they barely knew him. Nuri and Shiri were truly worth every moment of suffering he had endured in order to have them: the loss of his first child, waiting for them to be conceived, the separation from Fili, and finally their birth. Duri would be worth that, as well. His family was worth everything.

"You are both so wonderful. You need fear no darkness. Durin this child shall be."

"But he will be little Duri to his family…until he is old enough to heft an axe," Fili added, gathering the whole family in his arms and holding them close.

Fili and Kili had fought hard to have this family and it mattered not what threat of darkness awaited in their future; they would fight just as hard again, for the two brothers loved each other with everything they were…and they loved their children just as fiercely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One little note: Yeah, I did spin the origins of Durin the Last a little, but hey, what is fan fiction for, if not a little spinning?
> 
> I know some of you were hoping for more chapters, but this was always where this story was going to end…although we may not be entirely done with the continuing line of Durin. I was thinking of maybe doing some one shots…and if there are any stories you'd like to hear about Fili, Kili, and their babies, or have any questions you'd like answered, I might certainly be persuaded to tell those tales. But for now, this particular story is done, and I certainly hope it was well enjoyed and didn't kill you all too much.


End file.
